Dear GC,
I’m in a real dilemma about how to help a close friend of mine. I’ve known her for over ten years so in many ways she really is like my sister. Recently I found out her boyfriend of two years has been beating her.
I’m truly shocked and devastated as I had no idea she was going through all this. I feel like such a bad friend because i didn’t even know it was happening. I had noticed that she wasn’t going out as much or answering my calls but she said she is just feeling tired lately.
I’ve tried to tell her to leave but she says she can’t as he has no one else and anytime the beating happenings, he regrets it-meaning he does not intend to beat her but it happens all the time.
Since she told me she has once come over to my house because her man had seriously beaten her. She had blood pouring from her brow. I was so upset.
She has made me promise not to say anything but I can’t just keep this to myself. What makes this worse is that she just told me she is pregnant and so it isn’t just her who is in danger, the baby too.
My friend says if I say anything she will end our friendship and I should let her deal with it. How can I not say or do anything? I know all this is happening because both her parents are back home in Africa and she is an only child, the only family she has here is her aunt who she does not get on with.
I’ve spoken to her mum several times and she always asks how her daughter is and if we are taking care of each other. I keep lying to this woman and say everything is ok.
How can I help her?
Jennifer/ France
______________________________________________________________________________
Dear Jennifer,
You don’t need to feel you have been a bad friend as you were not aware because women in this situation are very good at hiding it from people. Since you have said she really doesn’t have anyone I would advise you not tell authorities just yet as she may deny it and she will be alone once she rejects you.
This will put her in even more danger. You sound like you really care about her so I would advise you continue to be there for her and let her talk things through with you. Focus on the fact that this is no longer about her and she could put her baby in danger.
Ask her what she would do were if you were in the same situation.
Hope This Helps
Let’s See What Our Readers Have To Say Too! Guys, Please Chip In Your Advice To Help A Sister Out…
All The Best
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
Jen, its not your fault. what you have to do is to have a serious and final talk with her about what is going on. Let her know that what she is going through is not normal, therefore if she doesn’t deal with it this time properly, you will seize to be her frined as you can’t watch her go through this and do nothing. Make her realise that the more she accepts this beatings the normal it becomes to her as days passes to weeks, to months and even to years. This will not effect her alone but also her love ones. take care!
SO HOW THE HELL IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS, WHY DONT YOU LEARN HOW TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. GOSSIP ASS
gosh! Wat a blog!…no tread goes by without people picking on others…even wen it’s dz unnecessary…hah!
you need to talk to your friend. The best thing you can do is to be there for her. If she feels that she cannot trust you, you will loose her entirely. Remind her of how abnormal the situation she is in. Get to her to a woman’s shelter for her to listen to stories of other women who are going through or have gone through her situation. Whatever you do, do not be judgmental. But please get her to a woman’s shelter quick otherwise you might loose her and the baby. Do not blame her and do not make her feel bad but be loving and be the comfort she needs act wise and fast but be cautious. And please pray and intercede for her as she needs both spiritual and physical strength.