Weekly Discussion: Marriage, A Social Contract Or That Which Depicts Love & Guarantees A Lasting Partnership….?

3 min


Recent developments in the world of celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Kris Humpheries and our own very own  Christiana Love have made it necessary for me to revisit this topic.

After 72 days of marriage, Kim K called it a quit, a deep slap on the sacred nature of the institution of marriage… Contemporary developments to a greater extent seem to affirm my belief that, marriage  does not guarantee a lasting partnership/relationship but it is just another social contract we usher ourselves into.

Marriage, in spite of its elusive interpretation and the divorce ridden hallmark that has come to typify its overview, has still managed to endure the test of time.   Its root and importance can be traced to the genesis of mankind: where God created living things in pairs and surely it will not be unreasonable to think that these creatures were of different sex.

It is therefore prudent to acknowledge marriage as a concept of God’s imagination and creation to continuously pair us as was done at creation.

The value and substance of marriage to mankind and to our contemporary society varies in our minds as individuals. Many are those who consider marriage as that needed to ensure a lasting relationship and better still, as a fountainhead of love or that which depicts love.

Most people push themselves and their partners into marriage under the delusional impression that, marriage means love and will firmly cement them together as lovers thereby securing their relationship to a lasting end.

As I nurture my way through life, I have come across several persons saying; if he loves you, why doesn’t he marry you? Get him to marry you and your relationship will forever be secured. My deduction from such words is that, many or all except me are of the notion that, marriage is love and love is marriage.

I am not an anti-marriage advocate; do not jump into a hasty conclusion on my conceptual understanding of marriage to mean so. The above common aphorism  do not only sound immature but sets up to baffle my mind if marriage in today’s society is love and guarantees a certain relationship or if  it is just a social contract which mostly lacks the elements of love and therefore can be terminated at anytime.

As much as the existing multiple assertions push me along the path of marriage being necessary in showing love and guaranteeing a lasting relationship, I am certainly sure that marriage is just a social contract which does not necessary depicts love or secure any relationship.

Marrying someone does not fully or in itself an evidence of love for the person. Many are times where people have been in love and have enjoyed a lasting relationship but never got married. In the same light, many people are married but do not have any component of love residing in their hearts and minds. Some marriages break up just months after it is tied up, some relationships without marriage endures “forever”.

Marriage to my contemporary understanding is just another social contract which is not superior to any other social contracts and does not  itself  means  “love”; just marrying a person can never secure the love one seeks, for marriage is not love and love is not marriage.

I think I have accurately put in writing my perception about marriage…What is yours? Do you think marriage depicts love or guarantees a lasting partnership/relationship?  Or do you also think it is just a social contract?



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Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, Founding Editor
Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri is the Founding Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com , a Film Critic and a Human Rights Advocate; he holds 2 masters degrees in Law; International Human Rights Law (LL.M) and Legal Practice Course (LL.M) from University of Leicester and Nottingham Law School--and also a degree in Law (LL.B) from University of East London. He's a Professional Truth Sayer and he is the author of the popular eBook “Success is a Right, Not A Privilege.” He currently works at Adukus Solicitors in London--where he uses his legal brains to kick real ass, for the good of clients and humanity. Contact: [email protected]

13 Comments

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  1. I understand, but then what is the point of getting married in the first place??? Hmmmmm, let me argue on why it is important. Marriage should not be looked at as merely some legal contract between two people that allows them to share the same name, reap benefits such as tax reductions and such, nor should it be considered merely because someone cares for someone, or has children together, or because one partner or family pushs on the other that this is the right thing to do. Marriage is a joining of two people only, not a couple and their families;its a promise before GOD most importantly(not even a judge, hence u can make these vows infront of only each other and God only, without signing anything at all and I feel that this can be just as meaningful), that they have chosen to live life as husband and wife together until death.

    Of course relationships aren’t perfect, and many marriages end up as dissolusions and worse, but I believe that in many of these cases love was not equally there between both people in the first place therefore its easier to fall out of love, cheat,lie, etc; or they got married for the wrong reasons; or they did not put their spirituality first in their marriage, making it easier not to follow the vows they promised also. People should get married only when they have equal and unbinding love for one another, when they can be adults and work out problems together because believe me there will be problems and challenges, when they don’t allow their family and friends to interfer with their relationship when its not asked, when they both have equal goals and aspirations for their lives together, and when that’s the case I don’t think niether would allow the D- word to be considered or even uttered from their mouths.

    Marriage can be a beautiful thing when done with the right person, those who have been married for decades will tell u of times they have wanted to kill or leave one another, but the point is they worked thru whatever the problems were because they loved each other that much.

    My opinion Only lol!

    1. @KTGalloway, You do have a good point KT but in today’s society marriage is seen as a “contract”. Many don’t marry for compatibility or love… but for money or other benefits. The institution is in danger. 

      1. @ghallday, true, and i have shared my opinion that i think those are the wrong reasons.
        Issue is, marrying for anything but love has now become common place everywhere, and hence it is not even considered a sacred union or seen as meaningful anymore to alot of people. Shame… but I guess we can only worry about what we as individuals do for ourselves, and not be a follower….atleast I will.

        1. @KTGalloway, oh, and i never said i disagreed that it is seen as a contract lol :), i actually agree, but I what my point is, is that it should be viewed as MORE than a contract. People just dont take decisions like that seriously anymore, because they figure they can always give up…aka….divorce.

      2. The author has broken it down to Love versus Contract. Why can’t it be both?

        I tend to side with the notion that “falling in love” is real but as I see examples of sucessful marriages, the contract part becomes ever important.
        Some marraiges fizzle cause warning signs were ignored, conceeding too much to your husband or wife is its genesis.

        I like how religious people make marraige look, example extremely religious Muslims, extremely relgious Rasta’s and extremely religious Catholics, its like they have it and the rest of us will never understand it.

  2. marriage definetly has a long history. it has evoved over da centuries 2 now. over da past hundred years or more society changed what marriage is about cos a lot of pple were getting married 4 different reasons. so to me i’ll say marriage is a now a social contract. if u happen 2 knw smone who is divorce in any developed country, u’ll really understand is not only a social contract but also a business.

  3. one more thing there is no guaretee in marriage and in life in general. i hope we’re all at this point knw there’s nothing as ‘ they lived happily ever after’.

    1. @missy, lol. Of course there isn’t. I have met couples who have been married for 40 yrs and more and they all tell that it hasn’t been a bed of roses. Moments of agony abound in some of the ‘strongest’ marriages…. it’s all about the will and determination to keep moving forward. 

  4. Before you decide to get Married, these are the questions each and every one should ask his/herself: is this what i want to end up with for the rest of my life? wake up to every morning,?smile with, laugh with,cry with, truly love, can’t wait to see when him or her is not around: if you answer yes…..: THERE U GO!…if it’s no then they are not for you, if u are not sure make room for improvement or move on: Thats the rule to a successful & a till death do as part marriage…Anyway, comparing the rate at which marriage couples are getting divorce as to that of our grandmothers/mothers back in the days , I think the difference is clear. Marriage is not a social contract, our generation made it seem so but trust me people are actually enjoying their marriage because they waited upon the Lord.