Dear GC, I Am A Nigerian & My Soon To Be Hushand Is From Ghana, His Mother Says She Won't Allow Him To Marry Me

2 min

Worried Woman
Worried Woman

Dear GC, 
I’ve been with my partner for 8 months now and when he proposed to me last month I said yes without hesitation. He’s an amazing man and I cant wait to be married to him and spend our lives together. 
When we first met I just knew he was everything I was looking for.  As we plan to marry early next year I’ve been working so hard to prepare everything. 
As I’m from Nigeria and he is from Ghana I’m trying to do what i can to balance the wedding so they dont say my people are taking over but all this is a waste. 
I’m now heartbroken and depressed because his mother recently called me to say she does not want the marriage and I should break off the relationship with her son because she has already chosen his wife for him. I cannot bring myself to tell him because they are so close and he will never belive me.
My Fiance has since noticed the change and continues to ask what’s wrong. My best friend said I’m mad and should run as I will have to deal with her for the rest of my life. 
I cant tell anyone apart from my friend as they will all say the same thing. it’s too upsetting and I dont know if I can go ahead with this wedding. 
Dear Bola, 
Whilst it is true when you marry you are marrying his family also, you do need to know the kind of man you are committing the rest of your life to. 
You need to step up here, so you can see how he reacts and know how to proceed. I’m not advising you to start stamping your feet and calling his mother names. You need to let him know what was said by the mother and see his reaction from there. 
Hope this helps. Let’s see what GC readers got to say too!

GC Staff bG


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  1. Please tell your fiance and see how he reacts to the situation. If he reacts towards supporting his mother, then you may have a reason to consider the marriage, but if his reaction is in support of your love then you know you have nothing to fear or worry about. It would be wrong to call off the wedding without first making him aware of what his mother has said. That saying that “when you marry, you marry all the family” is bs. When you are in the marriage, whatever pain you go through is just on you, so that is not really the case. Base this relationship on your love and trust for one another, and be able to share everything. If he really loves you, you will know once you open up about what his mother said to him. I pray that you will find peace and a solution to this matter. Be blessed and continue to pray for God is able.

  2. Please tell your fiance about what her mother told you. Remember that your peace of mind and happines is very important.

  3. Bola, am suprised u want to carry this cross alone.Ur man should have been the first to know about what u are going tru even before ur bestfriend.You have a strong heart for keeping this to urself, unless ofcourse u know what u are up to.One thing u should also examine is as to whether ur man is a mummys boy or not.My best advice is tell ur man, Seek God becuase for all u this is happening for a reason.Gud luck babe.