Dear GC Readers, My Childhood Friend Is Cheating On His Lovely Wife, Should I Tell Her?

3 min

Dear GC Readers,
I saw something I wish I hadn’t and its causing me so much stress. The burden of keeping this secret is really killing me. I have been friends with a guy since we were very young, our families know each other so really we are like family.
When he met his wife I thought our relationship would change but it didn’t If anything, I’m closer to his wife now than I with him . He has now landed me with the burden of telling the truth of his infidelity.

I recently went on holiday with my boyfriend in Belgium for a long weekend and was so shocked and upset when I saw my friend with another woman and a baby.

He had told us all at home he was on a business trip in New York and so this catch up on him is just too much for me! He confessed that he has been with this woman for three years and she know’s he’s married but has accpted this and as the two women live apart no one gets hurt.

I could not believe what I was hearing. He begged me to keep quiet but when I shouted at him he became so defensive and said I should do what I want and he will deny the whole thing. This is not the man I grew up with and looked up to.
I feel so betrayed and it feels like he has fooled me! My partner said I should mind my own busines but since its happened I’ve spoken to his wife twice and she suspects nothing. Though she has noticed a changed in my mood and has asked me to come and tell her what is on my mind.
She’s so dedicated and comitted to my friend. He has since called me from Belgium and apologized and asked me not to say anything and he will tell her later. The worst part is I told his older brother and he said he already knows and he is keeping out of it.
Everyone seems to be keeping out of this disaster and telling me to do the same. I’m meant to visit his wife this weekend. I have not told a soul as we share too many people in common so that is where I am now stuck.
Dear GC Reader,
The burden of this truth appears to be causing you more stress than it should and you have only known it for a short while.  How will you feel when (and it will ) all comes out and she finds out you knew.
Let him know categorically that if he does not tell her the truth then you will have to take his wife on a little trip to Belgium. Very harsh, but that is the truth!
Hope this helps
Let’s see advice  GC readers have to offer!

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  1. It is very sad to see a committed woman who is not respected by her husband.Well, I think you have to convince the guy himself to tell his wife because its going to turn into a whole different story if you do.God will never forgive any man who cheats on his wife.Y’all men must be content with what you have..

  2. Y r men like that? Especially Gh men. When they marry they then go out there chasing single women or young girls who have no clue if they are married n start having kids with them n then they come back to their poor wives who don’t noe wats going on when I hear things like this I get soo annoyed.Adzen? Is it force to get married.Wat kinda fuckery is dis? Aniwaes my dear talk to dis Guy again n if he’s not doing anything abt it talk to his parents since u that close to them to advice him buh dnt tell his wife let him do that cus if anything goes wrong ur childhood friend will hate u. So just keep out of their issue and do ur part in advising him. Am sure if he doesn’t change Karma will catch up with him.

  3. i think you should tell her you’ll always feel like you could’ve done something It would be worse if they were married and she was pregnant, then they would really be stuck in the relationship! Just gently suggest to her that your friend may not be the greatest guy for her and ask her if she’s felt like things were on the rocks. See how she feels is she completely clueless? Girls can usually sense when something is not right. If she kinda already feels like she’s not happy in the relationship tell her what’s been going on and she might even be relieved that she has an out She may be feeling trapped as well Also, have you tried talking to your friend about it? That might be a better first option too someone really needs to appreciate with what they got and stop that nonsense all woman are they same either the one has got bigger breast or but all whole package one has got more experience behind close doors and other is a beginner there is no point of cheating I your married than there is a reason you said yes I do if this story is true than its about time men become men and stop acting childish cause your given some of us men bad name just like that Dr. Miyagi has spoken 
    Men wise up and appriciate the one you have and treat her same way you would treat your mother 

    1. tell her for what , what do you stand to gain from it , why don’t you just remove yourself from the situation , don’t you have enough skeletons in your own closet . It seem’s you must be jealous of their relationship and is determined to ruin it. Time has a way of exposing things all by itself , so my brother , the best advice is to mind your own business, if you think he is not as good of a friend as you thought he was. 

      1. @prince,You do have a good point there prince can’t argue about that it could be bothering him as well or 
        Maybe he has a crush on that girl and can’t stand te pain she is going through thanks for the correction buddy 

      2. @prince, time def. tells but that same time can mess things up..U heard the quote “the earlier the better”?

  4. Please don’t tell her.hearing it from you might cause her a heartbreak.rather talk to your friend to muster courage to tell her.that’ll be the best thing to do.if you tell her and a divorce crops up,people will point accusing fingers at you.I’M DONE.

  5. Tell her for wat?!!! if his elder brother knows n has decided to tell the wife who are u as friend to break a HOME?bcause seriously if u tell,its a home u are breaking!Just dont!!!!!

  6. why dont you mind your own fucking bussiness ,shame on you ,do you know what your so called husband is doing and have you stop gossiping .
    mind your own damn bussiness