Dear GC Readers,
I met a guy a few months ago and he seemed very nice when we met and he really chased me to get my attention. He said he wanted to marry me and have kids with me and I believed him. This guy was practically begging me to have his kids but I told him he should allow me to finish my nursing school but he still insisted he wanted us to go ahead and have children. He introduced some of his family members to me and I talked to his dad in Ghana as well as his uncle in the US and visited his aunty in Bremen.
They all seemed happy for us and he even said he wants to marry me but I told him my dad would never agree to this since I’m still studying. He then suggested that I should get pregnant first then my dad will have no option than to allow us to get married. So we planned on getting married in December and get pregnant along the lines. As you would expect I’m now pregnant and after seeing my Dr. she told me I am four weeks pregnant. I couldn’t keep the joy to myself so I quickly called him to tell him the news he had been waiting to hear but his response was not at all what I was expecting. He did not sound happy and his response to the news was cold.
To cut a long story short he is now telling me to have an abortion. I have already told my parents about the pregnancy and my mum has advised me not to do anything stupid to the pregnancy though my dad was disappointed and sad. My main problem is my boyfriend has changed completely since I got pregnant. I’m confused because he is the one that wanted this in the first place. He doesn’t call like he used to do, we don’t see each other any more and he is now telling me to have an abortion. When I asked him why he said he doing some business deals and it’s not going to plan so he is distracted
He has since promised me a lot and he has said that he doesn’t want to disgrace me by not fulfilling his promise and he has also said that he still wants to support me to have a career in the future and so the best thing now is to have an abortion. I am devastated and heartbroken. Please tell me what to do. I need help.
Dear Worried Ghanaian,
I can imagine how upset and confused you will be right now knowing your boyfriend has suddenly changed his mind about you having his baby and distancing himself from you. I can understand that you would of course be heartbroken by his sudden change of heart which may not make sense to you right now. His reasons for changing his mind are many, he may have met someone else, scared of the reality of becoming a dad or he may have changed his mind as his priority to focus on his business appears to be what is most important.
What will help you is for him to at least be honest with you about his reasons so ask him to be honest with you though this is not what is the most important issue here. If you have decided to keep your baby, take solace in knowing you are not alone and it sounds like while your parents maybe unhappy with the whole situation they sound like they will support you.
It sounds like your boyfriend took many decisions out of your hands in the beginning regarding your commitments to school and deceiving your parents to get what he wants, so the least you can do for yourself is take this very important decisions in your hands so you don’t put your regrets on him. If you abort the baby and you regret it the blame cannot be with him as the decision is in your hands so take the decision carefully.
I hope this helps…Let’s see advice GC readers have to offer!
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