Dear GC Readers, Men Can’t Be Trusted, My Friend Raped Me, I Am Falling For Him & He Has Ditched Me

I am a girl in my early 20’s and my previous relationship didn’t go well so I ended the relationship. After getting out of the relationship, I made a promise to myself not to get involved with a man until I secure my education and my future and then maybe I would find my Mr right.

I was fulfilling my promise till I met a friend who happens to be a guy. We became friends and he was nice to me, caring and even supportive. I liked him very much as a friend but never loved him or wanted to be in a relationship with him. The thing is, this friend of mine calls me everyday at least 3 times a day to find out how I am and what I’m up to.

One day he invited me over to hang out and I thought why not and I decided to visit my friend at his place, when I got there he was really nice to me and we both watched movie, I didn’t suspect anything and we just had a cool time.

After a while he wasn’t as chatty and was just looking at me. I guess because I didn’t fancy him when I went to visit him I dressed simply and decently after all I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

He finally broke the silence by telling me how pretty I look and to be honest I was surprised because I did not see anything pretty about me but as I genuinely saw him as a friend, I took it as a compliment.

All of a sudden he started touching my body and wanting to kiss me! I stopped him immediately though he started to force himself on me! I tried to resist him but his strength outweighed mine and finally he got the chance to enter me!!!

I was depressed and even crying after the incident because I never thought he could do such a thing to me! Really indeed men are not to be trusted.

He pleaded with me telling me to forgive him and that  he will do anything for me. He even put some money in my bag as I left for the bathroom to wash myself. I left his place crying deep inside my heart.

After what happened he called declaring his love to me. He really started to show me love and care in the early weeks after what happened so I started to believe he never meant to force himself on me and then he stopped all of a sudden!

He only calls when I flash him and he has not called me the whole of yesterday. I really want to just forget about him but anytime I try and move on, then I’ll just remember how he forced himself on me then I just go mad!

I just can’t allow him to get away with what he did to me or I feel I should report him.

After what happened we never slept together again and I know it sounds strange but I  think I’m beginning to fall for him now.

Please help me, I’m really confused and don’t know what to do now.

Adia

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Dear Adia,

Sorry to hear you have gone through such an awful ordeal. It’s brave you were able to open up and say what you have been dealing with, many are unable to say and end up suffering in silence.

Though you are saying you don’t know what to do from what you have told me in your letter you have made important decisions when it counts. Though you were distracted you initial decision to focus on your life as oppose to becoming distracted was a good decision.

Have faith in your ability to make good judgement  It’s important you realize what happened was not your fault and that what happened was against your will which makes what this man did to you abusive.

Sometimes when we are low or unhappy predators see this and take advantage of this by taking something they want away from you. You take some of this back by talking to someone you trust about what happened and dealing with this properly because it doesn’t sound like you’ve had a chance to do this.
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All the best.

SassyChic!

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