People have many theories and expectations where women are concerned. Especially when it comes to marriage.
I cannot say exactly why men marry because I am not a man but I can say for sure that it’s not always an emotionally exciting journey for many women as believed. Yes some women put love first but even in your homes, you all know the sacrifices your mother might have made staying with your Dad to secure the background of her children.
So why do women marry? Of course there’s societal pressure and then that biological clock malarchy but we choose somebody in the middle of it all. Why do we choose who we choose beyond feelings of love? I choose to dwell on logical reasons instead of love because LOVE HAS NO LOGICAL REASONING.
PLAN A
Status
Wealth is not a myth. People require status for many flimsy and dire reasons, and those reasons are relevant to their existence and character. For example, if I ask you to choose between marrying Wanlov and Obama, you will not be in as much of a dilemma as you would be if you had to choose between marrying Nelson Mandela and Obama.
Also lets assume you had all the status and security you could ever want in your own name but you have an option between two partners…one a frustrated, bitter and angry underachiever who blames his failure on the world and tries to take it out on others and a happy go lucky, dynamic, cheerful and knowledgeable man who has built a solid life and heritage.
Supposing you had more money than both, who would you still rather be with? The answer is obvious. Now, this is the impact of status on us all. It is intrinsic to happiness. Many women in many situations hold out on getting married just to meet the best option of their lifetime. Women too, get wedding jitters simply by wondering if they could have held out for better deals.
Inclusive in this status reason is the need for intimacy from the ‘wealthiest’ man they can find-yes you heard me. Quality intimacy matters.
They may settle for the best option of the moment only because they panic or fear they are losing the ability to choose the best due to biological or other reasons.
Security
Perhaps this should have been number one reason because every woman has security paramount on her list. Women will stop at nothing till they feel absolutely secure in their choice. Even if they marry down, there is an underlying reason of security.
They must be certain of the utmost commitment of love, romance and more from that one man. We need to stand on a solid background of the individual, family and assets. This still features an element of status. Safe to say, security and wealth still make status.
PLAN B
Children
This is when the time factor pushes a woman to settle. In this situation, Plan A has failed so she chooses to spread options among the other leading members on her radar.
When the search leads a woman to the realization that she cannot get all these things from one man, she moves into the process of the next best method of operation. Her approach becomes clinical. She prepares herself mentally and emotionally to address her needs in other ways. And convinces herself she actually has found a lot of reason to settle. This doesn’t change the fact that she would still have preferred plan A.
She may also settle for less because the leading men on her radar have rejected her and refused to give in to what she wants from them. In this situation, rejection from her leading men is born out of the fact that they didn’t commit. Though they perhaps might have given in to intimacy, her feeling of rejection will transcend beyond that. Because she wanted way beyond that.
Many women seek these things not because they are slutty, but because of fear in the long run. Acute fear of growing beyond their present choice and wanting someone else in all senses, much more. A woman can stray or hop in the process of seeking these things and you can choose to call her slutty but it is a natural instinct of seeking the most status and security that will fulfill her.
That said, what would you marry for if love was taken away? Remember love is not on this list so please do not argue out the love factor. We are on a page of logical reasons and conclusions outside of love.
It’s the smartest business investment they will ever make in their lifetime. The sad thing is the fact that if they did not have a Sasquatch that men love so much, there would be a bounty on them.its not something you can explain unless you’ve been truly in love, when you find that one person you can’t live without all you.want to live for his him and make him happy and he will love and protect and bring you happiness in return, but in the end the benefit is finally being with the love.of your life, that’s my opinion but of course you got some negative side of some Woman whom are really desperate to get married without thinking and most time it leads to desperation. And Desperation is a weak emotion and produces weak results
That’s all for now
@Dr. Miyagi, IGNORANT! Almost every guy i have dated have barely any pocket change…so investment i think not…Its the biggest investment he would be making;) I really cant imagine getting married…have 2 many dreams and so little time…But mostly both men and women marry because the want a companion..a family!
@Fierce,who is ignorant, did you read well and why would you date somany guys are you that desperate or what or is your legs iching you each time your Lonley
@Dr. Miyagi, I really agree with most of what you have stated here, except for the investment part. Some women just feel that because their friends are getting married they have to get marry too at all cost even if they do not love the man which is so wrong. I noticed that the African society puts a lot of pressure on the people if they are at a certain age and is not married. Marriage is not for everyone in my opinion cause some people cannot stop cheating on their spouses, and marriage is not suppose to be like that. It is a beautiful thing when two people fall in love and get married and with God’s grace stay that way till death do them part. Dr. Miyagi…you’re still my guy o…One Love!
every woman has her reason why she wanna get married….. gettin married is somethin i av always dreamt of eva since i was a child….. lol maybe it bcos i watched too much of romantic romantic movies….. I love seein black lovely couples… but i personally want to get married bcos i wanna av a family… a lovely carin respectful huband plus 3 or 4 kids…… to build a good future generation… i beg a av a lot of big dreams… ma imagination is to high… marriage is a good thing so why not
@RocklynLove, It’s ok to have high expectations. Many honest women will admit they want it all in one man. Everyone has a dream, target to which they make adjustments as reality sets in and they get to know the world more. But hopefully, you won’t have to tailor your dreams. X
Miyagi you see why I didn’t want you to leave us? Hahaha.
@GC STAFF,hahahaha lol I feel you
Since love is outside this discussion, I would go with security. A man who can protect you will certainly work hard to take care of you as needed. Not many men with status would want to marry a woman a woman with no status, but it is easy to find a man who will protect you under all circumstances. The bottom is line is that God blesses and God can bless any union in wealth, so that the couple will eventually have that status they so desire. Rich people often marry into rich families and poor people into poor families. It is rare to see a rich person marrying into a poor family and vice versa. But I have seen God bless many couples who were poor when they married. Status is important, but it is not a key to getting married. I also know some women get married because they got pregnant. To me, that is the biggst MISTAKE any woman can make! No woman should ever get married because of pregnancy. It could be disastrous to the woman. Unlessa marriage plas was in the process prior to becoming pregnant, don’t ever marry because of a pregnancy.
Its Gods will that we should multiply…
I married my best friend not only for love but for companionship. And that’s all that matters to both of us, if you worship the ground you both walk on, you will do any and everything for your partner in life. We did not marry for children(lack of children ends marriage if thats your purpose for marrige),status(marriage because of wealth, will not take your marriage anywhere),etc. however, we did marry for a different kind of security, meaning protection of each other.
If you do marry for any of the above rather than love, you will regret it.
regular sex with same guy, lol, Compasionship, sense of belonging. someone to help pay the damn rent.
I guess women marry for different reasons. Am asking myself, why did i marry? For companionship? Well, all i know is, I married b’cos it felt right. And if i had my way, i would like to be with him till the end……..