THE BIG QUESTION: Love In The Diaspora – Is It Possible For An Illegal Immigrant To Really Love A Legal Immigrant Or A Citizen Of A Country? My Friends Say NO!

I have realized that Ghanaians in the diaspora often question whenever an illegal immigrant falls in love with a legal immigrant or a citizen of a country.  I will focus my article to the immigrants in the USA.

I guess the reason this has become a way of thinking for most of us is because there has been so many instances where a legal and an illegal immigrants have fallen in love, gotten married, had children, only for the illegal person to have acquired a legal status and left the marriage.  Strangely, once the illegal partner is legalized as a citizen of the country, he/she suddenly realizes the marriage is not worth fighting for, and walks away.

It is rather unfortunate because this type of behavior has made many people to believe that whenever an illegal immigrant falls in love with a citizen or a legal migrant, then the love could probably not be real.

I don’t believe that can be the case in all situations at all. I believe there are so many illegal immigrants out there who will love and love forever a citizen or a legal migrant.  I know there are legal and illegal immigrants from other countries who also experience this.

The only difference is that, these people are not so fast to judge or question a relationship between the two people as not being real. They give it a chance to see what comes of it, and most of the time great things do come out such relationships.  So why is ours any different?

The fact that it’s happened to about five percent of the Ghanaian community doesn’t mean it has happened to everyone.  This backward way of thinking could let someone walk away on a genuine love of his/her life if he/she buys into such arguments.

My girlfriend recently met and fell in love with a fine young looking man. I have met the guy and I have no doubt in my mind that he is in to stay. However, almost everyone seems to question the relationship even though no one knows the status of the guy except me.

And that is because my girlfriend has told me so much about him than she has anyone else.  The irony of it is that, friends and family don’t believe what she has said to them. They go behind her back to call me to find out whether the guy is legal or not. I have told everyone who calls that he is, though I know he is not.  I don’t think it is any of their business whether the guy is legal or not.

On one occasion, one of our friends called to ask if the guy was working and I said “no.”  Her next sentence was that her brother-in-law was looking for someone to work with his papers, so they were willing to give it to him if he likes.  I was blown away with her intention of trying to get me to commit myself by saying otherwise.

If I hadn’t been fast to think, I would have easily answered the question with a “yes” and she would have then realized that the guy was not legal, and that would have unknowingly made me betray by friend’s trust.

Thank God I didn’t fall for her tricks. I immediately told the person that the guy is unemployed not because he is not legal, but because he just moved in from out of state.  It may take some time for him to land a job as the job market is bad.

People will go all out to get you to contradict yourself for them to gain their gossip grounds.  My friend failed miserably to get me to accidentally release any information on this guy. These are two grown people who have met each other and know what they want to make them happy.

So what if you legalize someone through marriage and that person leaves you? That is not the end of the world or your life. Besides, the scripture tells us “that in all things we should give glory to God.”

I am personally happy for them, and I pray things work out, which I have no doubt that they will. The man is a staunch Christian who believes in fairness.

If ever my girlfriend decides to marry him and changes his status, she will have my full support because I believe in her decision and the choices she makes for herself.

Do you know someone who has experience or is experiencing this issue? What is your take on it?