He Used Me, She Used Me…Can One Be ‘Used’ In A Relationship?

“I feel used and dumped,” sounds familiar? Funny how when relationships (couple), partnership (business) break down, you hear one saying he/she used me and it mostly comes from the ladies. It’s just a handful of guys you’ll normally hear them say ‘a woman used me’.

No matter how a relationship ends ‘on a good note’ or ‘mutual understanding’; one person always feels the pain of losing out so I making the other person look bad is the way forward for some. To use something is a means to accomplish a purpose.  Financial stability, personality, companionship are some of the reasons people enter into relationships.

I know some or most ladies will not agree with me, but nobody is used in a relationship, man or woman. OK, there is a dumping because one decides to quit, but ‘use’, there is nothing like he/she used me, why?  Each person derived something from the other. If you’ve been with someone for a considerable time and the going was smooth, no complaint or whatsoever but you feel used after the relationship ends, don’t you think it’s a cry for pity? Something definitely drives you to…

Excuse my language for a minute; apart from a partner forcing himself or herself on the other (that is rape), when two people agree to throw their legs in the air with moans and groans here and there; how does that constitute ‘he used me sexually’?

If throughout the period you were together, you were actively involved in the bang bang, you ‘used’ the other to derive pleasure (the purpose), and so that is a win-win. The guys even argue that it’s hard work satisfying a woman in bed.

Something about somebody appealed/attracted you to be with that person, so you tend to do things out of love. If you keep spending your money on a partner, definitely you’re doing that because you’re getting something in return, so where does ‘user’ come in when the person walks away?

Everything won’t be 50/50 though, but the world is not a fair place, even in win-win situations; one person’s win does not equal the win of the other.

Truthfully, it is not easy coping with rejection, but don’t use self-pity to cope when a relationship ends. When break-up happens, the good things we enjoyed from the other person quickly erases from their memory. It is so much easier to blame the other for the problems in the relationship than to have a hard look at oneself.

If you keep singing that chorus after every relationship, you’re robbing yourself of happiness because every man will be a jerk and every woman will be a gold digger.