A big white wedding is/was every young lady’s fantasy. As the young matures to marriageable age, her fantasy fade out especially if she decides to be with a ‘she’ or the idea of being a wife/married woman does not appeal to her anymore. For others, it deepens – walking down the aisle in her most expensive, whitest wedding dress (as if she’s still a virgin) while her husband-to-be is in the most expensive suit money can buy. As usual, the dream wedding is always the woman’s fantasy and not a man’s.
An expensive wedding does not indicate the length of a marriage or necessarily mean a ‘happy ever after’ or ‘married forever’. Some couples have gone their separate ways just under a year due to monetary problems and disagreements which stemmed from going the ‘useless extra mile’ they took good in people’s eyes. After paying so much in dowry and bride price; why make a bad investment when the only returns you’ll probably get are kitchen equipment and money which will not even cover the cost of a box of chicken legs?
Some couples spend years planning for their big day and it seems the longer it takes, the higher the cost. They (or the woman) rope in so much money they don’t even have to make the wedding a perfect one – a perfect day not for the couples themselves but to impress everyone else. It’s just a matter of impressing people who are not even bothered if you starve in your matrimonial home (maybe apart from close family members).
Personally I think large expensive weddings are a bit extreme (especially if the wedding was funded by the credit card and lenders). Any time I attend a big, expensive wedding that is obviously beyond the couple’s means, I feel a mixture of sympathy and annoyance. I’ve been to weddings in the last few years where the couple actually went into debt with the husband running out of the country and leaving his wife behind to sort the mess. Was that glorious day/flamboyance worth the cost, debt and ‘married but living single’ situation?
A wedding should be a celebration of two people starting their lives together, but many people completely overlook that fact. If the couple can afford a big wedding, why not? They have the means to make it into a flamboyant affair – no qualms about that. They have the peace to enjoy their marriage without fretting about paying back any loan or credit card bills, then they can go for it.
Some people use the excuse of ‘it’s a onetime affair in my life’ or ‘it is the best day in a woman’s life’, but seriously, that excuse does not hold anymore; because some people are in their second marriages. The quick rate at which people rush into the ‘holy matrimony business’ is the same way they’re quickly rushing out. I have mates who have been there before and preparing for their second wedding (and I’m not even 31 yet).
People who truly care about a couple’s wellbeing will be pleased no matter what kind of simple party they put on. Enough food and drinks, good music is more than enough to have a good time. I’ll be more than happy with the booze and music (since I’m not a very good eater and the sight of too much food just kills my appetite) There is nothing wrong with a small intimate wedding if that is what a couple can afford. Less expense which means less stress.
Since everyone’s situation is different, you have to decide what is most important to you, not how to impress everyone else. If you can’t afford or don’t want an expensive wedding, then don’t have one just to make everyone else happy. If someone else wants an expensive wedding, they can do so when their time comes along.
At the end of the day, the merry makers leave to their respective homes, leave the couple to clear up the mess and their debt. The same people they try to impress mock them if things don’t go right or things just turn nasty. That is the hypocritical nature of human beings.