A lot of male victims of abuse have great difficulty defining it as such. This is partially due to the image society generally has of Men….Men are often thought of as strong, domineering and macho. Boys, even at a young age, are taught that it is unmanly to cry (“big boys don’t cry”).

To many, the idea of a grown man being frightened or vulnerable is a taboo. Hence many male victims of abuse may feel “less of a man” for suffering abuse, feel as though they are in some way not manly enough and ought to have the ability to prevent the abuse.

No man is super human. They hide a whole lot pain inside them because they’re not supposed to cry. Any ‘cry baby man’ is perceived to be weak and a coward. The abuse does not have to happen every day. It may only happen infrequently but the first sign of any kind of abuse is an indicator of potentially serious, long term consequences.

Society views women as victims of domestic violence and rarely as perpetrators. In recent years, women have been at the front of abusing their male counterparts in relationships such as marriage or family. Before, it was more of verbal and financial abuse but it’s getting more physical and bloodier. There have been extreme cases involving men who have been hit, kicked, slapped and some had boiling water thrown at them. The latest trend is the stiletto bashing – where the wives use their shoes as their weapons.

Some abuses start when the man ‘stopped being man’ enough (as in not making provision for the home). Upbringing also plays a very major role (mother was abusing father to gain control) or as a growing up child, she learnt that the best way to resolve conflict is through violence.

Unfortunately, men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police—the man is completely ignored, their attacker go free and have fewer refuges to flee to than women. They rather suffer in silence at the hands of their abusive partners. Like abused women, some of these abused men don’t just walk out of the marriage (they dare not; where do they have to go?).

To me, abuse is abuse. No matter how you look at it.