Giving Ultimatum or Patience?



Patience is no longer a virtue in this day and age. It even sounds ‘offensive’ to some people especially ladies if you tell them to be patient. It is the same with a woman whose biological clock is ticking very fast (in her opinion) as well as age telling on her. They are not interested any more in waiting for a man, out of his own volition to talk marriage (as of old). Women at that point in their live start pressing the desperation button (as some men will say) – giving ultimatums.

Ultimatums are usually given in the words of a lady ‘the man is not making a move and that is necessary as it is a wake-up call for him to know a woman means business.’ Is he sleeping to be woken up and does giving ultimatums guarantee what you’re seeking from someone?

Some ladies ‘try’ to use the ‘make him jealous’ kind of trick with the idea of instilling the unwarranted fear in the man that he will lose her if he does not ‘step up’. ‘Someone is ever ready to marry me’. Creating a non-existent man/proposal as a weapon is more damaging and may be of great benefit to the man.

You may never know, the man may be even looking for an exit route and has been thinking really hard as to how to go about it. Telling him someone is ready to marry you takes the weight off his over-burdened shoulders. The jealous rage or fear you expect will back-fire really badly and you end up being burnt. If I am a man in such a situation, I will even offer some money towards your ‘wedding’ and top up with my blessing.

Looking at things the other way, some ladies have had the patience and have given the man a long rope and things are still not looking up as it should be. What is one supposed to do…..Unless the man is the most unpredictable human being you’ve ever come across, you can see through his actions if he will settle anytime soon – but giving ultimatum?…

What don’t always get what we desire (or at preferred time) in life and arm-twisting, putting fear (presumably), conning or using some draconian motive to get what we want from people does not always yield the expectant results. The people we think they are so much into us and can do nothing without us may only be real to us and fiction in the mind of the other.

Issuing marriage ultimatums to a man is not the best way to go about things. You have the choice between dialogue, being patient (for a reasonable period of time) or advising yourself (because to some ladies, if a marriage proposal is not forth coming, the good man they’ve always known becomes an ‘unserious’ man).

And there are others a man cannot give them a verbal promise of marriage and dare break it….they will hold them to ransom….The aggressiveness in the quest to get married these days is getting quite scary!

GC Staff Sw