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Love & Relationship

Jealousy…The Road To Death

Black woman

 

A Ghanaian man, Minta Adiddo was yesterday jailed in London for 17 years for stabbing his wife, Akua Agyeman, 32, fifteen times before attempting to run her over with his car over suspicion she was cheating with their neighbour. The mother of 2 spent two months in hospital before giving up the ghost. He as usual blamed his actions on the devil. A young vibrant life lost because of insecurity and ‘maybe’ unfounded suspicion.

Human emotions get the better part of some people, and this includes women in relationships, Jealousy has torn apart many a relationship over the years. It verges on and has easily crossed the lines of paranoia and obsessive behaviour which has led some to be violent to their partners and some to their early graves. Whatever form a man’s jealousy takes, the root cause is always the same: insecurity. Many ladies misread the signs when entering into a relationship with a jealous man, interpreting his possessive behaviour as caring, loving or even romantic.

Jealousy is excruciatingly uncomfortable. People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous. Don’t do this. Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won’t make either of you feel better in the relationship. Some people confuse make-believe with reality. Making another jealous to ‘measure’ their worth of love is absurdity.

Jealousy for some people is quite understandable especially if the person has been cheated on before, the on-off type of relationships and a divorcee whose last marriage ended on infidelity. They fear the trauma of going through loss again and resort to guarding their present relationships with eagle eyes. At the root of that jealousy lies the fear of loss. When fear lessens, so does jealousy. Constant re-assurances and positive communication may lessen the person’s fears.

Some people say it is better to be on a safe side when entering into relationships – avoiding the handsome men and the beautiful/pretty women because they are a recipe for disaster if one cannot handle competition. They believe a ‘head turner’ will have many admirers and may easily walk out on them when someone ‘better’ comes along so it’s better not to tow the line of dating them at all. Others also believe that they have a ‘stunner’ for a wife/girlfriend, so every time she smiles and looks at somebody else-he will still feel insecure about himself and his relationship and negative emotions may get the best of him.

In the vast majority of all cases, the jealousy is simply not warranted. Sometimes, a lot of silly, stupid thoughts get the best of men and women in relationships. This can come through a breakdown in communications and understanding. Nevertheless, they are normal. But can become very extreme in some circumstances, bordering on obsessive behaviour. Others may choose to ignore the jealous outbursts, or try to anticipate or avoid the situations which spark them off. The wife or girlfriend in question ends up feeling insecure over her own relationship. She feels restricted or under a tight leash because she may have a number of male friends and her male partner cannot even ha

Instead of dealing with ‘unwarranted’ jealousies, some resort to pampering their partner by changing their behaviour (avoiding male friendships etc.) to try and avoid jealousy and it never cures the problem. Doing that is reaffirming the person’s fears. Of course, if your partner is continually sexually active with other people, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated. But before the ‘warranted’ jealousy gets out hand to the extent of wounding or worse committing murder, it is better to exit….for your own sanity.



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1 thought on “Jealousy…The Road To Death”

  1. The issue of the man who killed his wife is a very sad case. As i am not justifying the murder, i don’t think the man acted on suspicion. he had every reason to believe that their nigerian neighbour was sleeping his wife. Women in the uk love to cheat too much especially when another man sweet talk them. I agree with the writer that it is better to exit to maintain sanity because maybe the man took action when he coudn’t cope with the wife’s behaviour

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