Often, persons are unaware of how peculiar or offensive their customs can be to people of other backgrounds. There are many times when we come across other people who think their customs are the best, and view that of others as nothing.
A few months ago, a friend from U.S.A. went to the Madina market to buy some fish. The woman pointed freely to the fish she wanted to purchase with her left hand. This got the seller angry and asked my friend to take her left hand off from the fish.
When she later told me about the incident, I explained the actions of the market woman to her.
To us Ghanaians, the left hand is considered unclean. This is because it is associated with lavatory matters. So it is never used to greet, give or receive things, or to eat food. Even though one may wash both hands equally well, according to our custom the left is still considered unclean.
“How do they know which hand I use for what?” That’s what my friend asked me (She is a left-handed though).
Should the matter of doing what Romans do when one goes to Rome be applied here? Or should we understand that as far as the person doesn’t understand our culture and customs, we will let it go and adjust to his/her culture instead?
Customs vary a great deal, and this is because people have such widely different backgrounds and educations.
Consider, for example, the differing customs relative to gift-giving. Europeans and Americans are inclined to try to select gifts to suit the person, the need or sentiment. They generally remove the price tag, since it is usually the custom not to have gifts reckoned according to cash value. In Ghana, however, money is a suitable gift for every occasion.
When you think about it, isn’t the Ghanaian custom a practical one? Does it not save a lot of time and effort? Yet, on the other hand, is there not something heartwarming about receiving a fine gift personally selected by a friend as done by Americans and Europeans? Really, both customs have merit, don’t they?
Even the customary ways that people receive gifts vary. A polite American or European will generally open a gift with obvious delight, thank the giver profusely, and then probably be conscious of a need to reciprocate in some way to show that the friendship is mutual. But what if you should give a gift to a Ghanaian?
He/she would probably thank you briefly, put the gift under his arm and open it when he/she gets home. The next morning when you may have concluded that he/she does not really appreciate gifts, he/she would return to thank you formally. And somehow this extra effort makes the thanks seem a little more genuine.
Now, let’s move away from the international level and deal with our local customs.
One of the cherished customs among the Krobos is the “Dipo”, which is a puberty rite that ushers a young lady into adulthood. One may conclude that the way the ladies are dressed during the rite is sexually explicit. The Krobos themselves may see nothing wrong with that. How do you as an outsider analyze this?
Do you put you customs ahead of others or you gladly accept that of others as unique?
I have heard people in the past talk about the fact that they will not or allow their children to marry an Ewe or Krobo person because of their customs. When did custom also become a factor in truly loving someone?
I believe as individuals, we all need to take some time and analyze the customs of others—and even if we cannot understand them, we ought to respect them.