What makes marriage a successful one? I had an invite to a silver wedding anniversary (25 years of marriage) from a former child care provider who took care of my child after maternity leave. She used the opportunity to advise the not-yet-married and the married as to how to make a marriage a successful one as well as to run a happy home. I found it interesting so decided to share …a recap:

Don’t feed people with the little money you have to start life with (no elaborate weddings if you cannot afford it).

Marriage is hard work. If you just trap a man with your body, he will go one day because more pretty girls are becoming adults on a daily basis. Let men fall for your personality and not want you can do in bed with/to them.

You’ll offend/be offended, angered/annoyed – patience and forgiveness are very essential

Value your marriages/relationships. You nurture what you value. It’s only lazy people who say marriage is a prison

When you want to settle, don’t settle for/with people with ‘shifty’ minds – their mind shifts to anything which catches their fancy. Anything and everything entices them. Their preferences always change. They always think they can/could have done better when they’re married.

Don’t marry because you need someone around you and to make the house warm – marry because you want to make a home. A guy/girl who has a different boyfriend/girlfriend for different purposes: show-off/ sex friend/advisor/financier/cook/cleaner etc. is one to marry at your own risk. They are never satisfied in life. They usually don’t change after marriage. The only difference between them and a polygamous home is all the ‘spouses’ are not staying under one roof.

Take care of yourself and still be desirable to your spouse. Don’t let your ‘self’ and your marriage go by ignoring your body because you’re married.

Marry a person who knows how to manage money properly. Challenges will come – loss of jobs, illnesses and financial turbulence – tests the strength of a marriage. A person who knows how to manage money can see the family through financial challenges and can do a lot with the little money they have left.

Marriage is not for girls and boys because boys/girls always want opportunity without responsibilities. And when talking about responsibilities, age is irrelevant. When it comes to maturity, growing up is not the same thing as growing old and mature.

Discipline your kids. Try to be ahead of them in this modern age. Mould them so their future will better and greater than yours. Let them know their roots.

If you’ve married before and it didn’t work, it doesn’t make you a failure – try again if you want to – don’t ‘marry’ your children. They’ll leave and start their own family.

This is coming from someone who has been there, done/doing it and still at it. 25 years is an achievement if you ask me because with the ‘latest’ marriages….hmm!! The one question I kept asking myself is – why can’t our generation even boast of 5years of marriage?