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Love & Relationship

The Folly of Judging a Person (Book) By the Cover

Black woman

 

Well, we all do it. We can’t help it. We’re predominantly visual creatures. The wrappers in which things come and how people sometimes present themselves not only powerfully affect what interests us but also how we react to the contents we find inside. When we have (or create) a positive or negative emotional reaction to someone upon first meeting them—often due to their overall presentation, it affects our reaction to the “content” we find inside.

We all carry around with us conclusions we’ve drawn about other people through which we filter everything they say and do. Certainly over time a person’s actual personality and character alter these conclusions, but even then our conclusions often remain highly biased. Further, we seem to err mostly on the side of overestimation, thinking people are far worse or are far better than they actually are.

Granted, some people are like open books where we can read them and base our judgements on what we read. We can read such people because they give us the permission to do so – how we read and interpret and use the information is entirely up to us.

The level of shock we experience and how hard it hits us when someone ‘displays’ some uncouth attitudes determines how badly we concluded a book (person) without even reading the contents. It’s just unfortunate that sometimes we keep admiring the cover for a longer period, quickly glance through the contents and preface and leave it at that.

When we want to see the parts of the person to take important decisions, that is when we go into the core concept and core values of the person but it just happens that there was nothing in the person (the content of the book) which can endear us to the person for a very long period in our lives

Sometimes, we just need the outer cover of a person for a short-lived purpose – it will be our folly to judge and accept the cover as truth if we’re on a search for the contents which we can boldly underline, take decisions and not doubt if we made the right choice. Doubting in itself is an indicator that we’ve made a very wrong choice.

The package in which people come to us may be attractive or repulsive, but if we exert a little effort like opening a book and browsing its contents before deciding whether to buy it, we can see past our visual biases to the truth. If you’re a very good negotiator, you can quickly pinpoint good pointers in a person (book) when you open them or when they open themselves for you to read them.

The main factor that determines the attitudes and image of an individual is the decision or choices that they make in the depths of their heart. Behaviour is public; consciousness is private – what you see a person up to does not determine what is happening in their hearts and minds. As humans, we often think we have the ‘power’ to see through a person right to their hearts and minds but truthfully, the furthest we can ‘see’ someone is their flesh and that is what is covering their ‘book’.

On the flip side, when you have the urge to envy someone and their (non-existent) lifestyle; remember you don’t know what the mind and heart is going through – their core being.

 



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2 thoughts on “The Folly of Judging a Person (Book) By the Cover”

  1. Good writing. …so true that we often judge the book before reading it….but those boring “books”….loool we just leave it behind as you keep reading and reading and it’s still boring….lool

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  2. Brilliant writing; my favourite part: “On the flip side, when you have the urge to envy someone and their (non-existent) lifestyle; remember you don’t know what the mind and heart is going through – their core being.

    Reply

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