Some women are go-getters and they believe what a man can do, they can do best- the power of equality. It’s therefore not a big deal for a woman to propose marriage to a man anymore. After months and years of hints-dropping and giving ultimatums here and there, they take the bull by the horns and propose marriage to the man.

Times have changed and some are moving with the times. Others also prefer the men to propose or go through the ‘traditional’ route of asking their hand in marriage. Nothing in life is guaranteed so preparation of the mind and acceptance of outcome should be on the menu.

I don’t see anything wrong with a lady proposing (I won’t do it though). Some claim proposing to a man reeks desperation – which I disagree because there’s no harm in trying (your luck). You cannot be fed if your mouth is closed.

My only problem with ladies I know who took the bold step of proposing is they didn’t prepare for the answer they received which was a no/not now. They only prepared for a yes with the wedding venue and wedding gown in mind. They didn’t prepare because they were expecting a positive outcome– maybe.

After the guy stylishly (coded) or bluntly tell them they don’t want to marry them; they become bitter and that is where the weapons of mass destruction sets in. Instead of being glad that at least they know where they stand and where the relationship is heading to, they wage war with so much hate and this is a lady who just professed her undying love to her ‘ideal man’??????

It takes a resilient person not to be shaken or broken when he/she is rejected and some of these ladies doing the proposing are not resilient. There are many guys in relationships and they want to marry another lady, and not the girlfriend they’re a sharing a bed with – it’s a fact!

Ladies rely too much on the length of time they’ve been/known a guy to assume the relationship is automatically heading into marriage but then, it’s not always about the length of time people have known each other. It’s the quality of the relationship. Some people were in relationships for years and it was an unhappy/ toxic/unhealthy one or the break-up and make-up type of relationship. They quickly jumped ship when they decided to marry.

Sometimes I blame the guys because they give women false hopes knowing fully well the relationship will not get to the expected ‘end’ (marriage). I can’t tell if it’s out of selfishness or they’re just being mean but some of them will give the flimsy excuse that the lady is relentless. A straight thinking person will not go where he/ she is not welcomed so if as a guy you give the impression that everything is good – how does that make her relentless?

A little memo to/for my ladies who have bought their rings and going to propose…. Please remember that when you pray for a rain, you prepare for the mud. Good luck and if the answer you got was not what you expected, don’t turn into a bitter soul!