A friend got married recently and posted the pictures on Facebook saying how her husband gave her the best wedding of her life and how he has made her dream wedding come true. To the ordinary eye (woman’s eye), he is the best thing every woman can ever wish for but those in the know like me… the best contribution her ‘dear husband’ made was turning up for the wedding with his best man and family.

As usual people commented praying to their father in heaven to bring such men their way and no broke ass guys should even locate them. The comment I made in my head was ‘ye gods….what a big lie’. This lady worked non-stop to put together that wedding and some things have not even been paid for!

People/things are not always how they appear. If you don’t know the true story of some people, you dare not judge them or applaud them according to what they are showing you or how you see them from afar. You don’t emotionally/mentally and physically drain yourself over someone who’s ‘telling’ you a half-baked story of how flamboyantly they live. In this era of ‘buy now pay later’, high class prostitution, card fraud and embezzlement, people are still praying to be blessed like their neighbour? Unbelievable!

People have walked out on promising relationships, good people and from ‘good’ marriages because their partners are not giving them the ‘real deal’ and not treating them to the goodies of life their fellow friends are being to (that’s why it’s sometimes better to avoid people who are easily fascinated with (unnecessary) stuff they call ‘treats’ and ‘pleasures’ of life). They walk out and slam the doors so hard that when they realise the people they were ‘looking up to’ is not who/what they appeared to be from afar, they cannot retrace their steps back and even if they do, they cannot open the doors they’ve shut with all their might.

Their friend’s boyfriends treat them to mundane stuff; take them on holidays and shopping or is highly educated etc. The fact that someone is highly educated does not make them wise/smart or intelligent. There are some (many) issues in life you can spend the whole day in the library and you’ll never find answers to them. Ask an uneducated person (according to their standard), and he’ll think straight on his/her feet and solve that issue for you without sweat. Being highly educated and being wise/smart are two worlds apart!

People put up fronts, try keeping up appearances, live a make-believe life (even though they are not actors and actresses) – sometimes in a way to make others believe that they’ve arrived – that’s how maybe they feel fulfilled or happy as human beings but then if you as a by-stander starts to feel incomplete because you can’t do or haven’t achieved half of what these people are ‘flaunting’, you need to reset your brain to factory settings – the state it was before you started filling it with junk.

Sometimes, due to the way people talk and carry themselves in public, the urge to see them and acquaint yourself with them is very high but when you get to know them on a very personal level, they lack verbal hygiene and nothing to write home about. Seeing them some inches away, one will think they are heavyweights – move closer and you’ll realise that a corn husk is even weightier than them.

There are many mistakes I have made in my very short life and if I had people telling me or warning me not to take that route, I would have been very glad but I didn’t and when I warn (sometimes harshly though) others going down the same route, they don’t listen because according to them, ‘if it’s not such a pleasant thing, how come you’re very comfortable’ – what they forget is we come from different backgrounds and different families. I was extremely lucky to have a very supporting family who cleaned up my mess and helped me up on my feet again. If someone had it easy, it doesn’t mean it is an easy road because a road less travelled by many, should be sometimes avoided because it’s less busy for a reason.

When people flaunt their ‘fulfilled, happy, living the life, been there and back’ lifestyle, you’re better off not taking any notice of them because they’re just empty barrels making click clack noises with no melody to them. You can put a tuxedo on a goat and it will still be a goat – even if you spray it with a million dollar perfume. People and things are not always what it/they seem. It’s just a matter of moving closer to them/it before you realise that you have really short-changed yourself in being content, happy and living a fulfilled life because when we all put our problems in one heap, after seeing other people’s problems, you’ll gladly take yours, give it a good kiss, go and drink water and sleep very peacefully.

We all live with a purpose. If I decide to eat and sleep the whole day – that is my (invented/inverted) purpose BUT then, don’t adopt my purpose in life to live yours because you don’t know I sleep to make my money – if you ignore your purpose in your journey of life, you’ll face an inevitable thing/situation called abuse!

If you want the real deal…move closer because it might be glittering but it’s nowhere gold or even silver.