Though it’s difficult to establish the grounds for such behaviour, it has become more than prevalent among a ‘sect’ of black women—and men, but I will focus on the women in this article since the underlying encounter was with a woman.
Majority of black women, especially between the age range of 25-39 are living beyond their means and it wouldn’t be anyone’s problem if they were managing this well or doing so for a good purpose—rather, the complexity and accompanying ‘hustle’ is as a result of trying to become what they are not.
I thought the era when people watched too much MTV and subconsciously bought into the unrealistic celebrity lifestyle had passed but recent events show that, our black women are running fast on the desire to stay on the increasing social calendar as much as those superficial men with no legs to stand on.
I have no problem with those who have the genuine means to live a life they desire—even if such a life is full of material things; expensive brands, overpriced holidays and big talks. However, it’s beyond laughable that a person (a black woman) has to end up extremely embarrassed like the one I recently met in an attempt to impress or as a result of living beyond her means and being fixed in a cloud of delusion.
About a week ago, I had a call from a stranger who claimed to be a stylist; I will later get to know her as Jessica; a Ghanaian living in London. She was looking for a website to rebrand herself and according to her; she has in the past worked with Beyonce, Usher and several top entertainers on long contracts.
Our initial conversation which lasted for about 10-15 minutes was full of big talks, all from her—and to be frank, she didn’t have to tell me most of things she poured out because they had nothing to do with the website I was going to design for her.
At the end of the conversation, we agreed on a 5 page website for £700 and though I hardly meet many of my clients, she wanted to meet up and show me her logo—and perhaps, to be sure I am real before transferring me the deposit, which is half of the amount.
Finding a location to meet took us more than 5 minutes because she kept rejecting every place I suggested on grounds that; I don’t like that place, I hate their tea or coffee. When I suggested that we meet at Starbucks at Oxford Circus, she said she didn’t like their hot chocolate. She didn’t have any objection to meeting at Costa Coffee after I mentioned that—even though most people would prefer Starbucks to Costa, she lived in an inverse preference.
Before even meeting her, I knew she drove a BWM and lived somewhere in Central London—she was obviously telling me, she is ‘ballin’ and this is someone who just spent about 3 minutes trying to get £20 discount. Rich people are tight with money so I didn’t think much of that and surely, I didn’t buy into her hype or efforts to impress me because I meet several of such big-talkers, those who even claimed to have a PhD when in fact, they do not even have a mere first degree.
I met this young woman yesterday and because we were meeting at Central London, I took the train which delayed a bit. I texted her that I was running a bit late so she should settle in the Costa Coffee and wait for me…
She quickly whatsapp’ed me to say; she couldn’t find the Costa Coffee but she had spotted a restaurant called ‘Angus Steak House’ so she will just wait for me there and when I come, we would move to the Costa. I didn’t see the sense in moving but I agreed. And didn’t understand why she whatsapp’ed when I texted her; the answer became obvious at the end of our meeting.
I walked into ‘Angus Steak House’ on Oxford Street less than 15 minutes later and spotted a black lady rocking a floor sweeping weave, about 28 years old with her boobs heavily packed in her grey dress—seated at the far end. I knew it was Jessica so I walked straight to her, did the usual introduction and when I was about to make myself comfortable, she asked that we moved to Costa Coffee because she was ‘not feeling their hot chocolate and biscuit’.
She had already ordered two biscuits and a large hot chocolate so she called one of the waitresses to pay for what she had ordered so we could walk out.
She pulled out her LV purse—and brought out a debit card, the bill was £11 and some coins but her card was declined. She asked the waitress to try again and once again, it was declined. She brought a second card which was a debit; that too was declined. Obviously, she did not have about £12 on both cards.
It was getting embarrassing so she brought out her VISA credit card; which I knew was going to work since most of us have working credit cards for emergencies but before handing it over the waitress, she said something like; I am not sure if my accountant has made the monthly payment on this yet but let’s try. And that too was declined.
Even at this embarrassing moment, this lady was talking big about having an accountant, still trying to throw more dust over our eyes. I pulled out my wallet and just paid her bill, hoping that will end her many big talks. But the embarrassment meant that, she had to try and talk me into something else, to accept that she is actually a ‘big girl’ with a lot of money; just that her bank is holding on her cash for some legal reasons.
The walk to Costa Coffee was all about her telling me about how her two different banks are holding on her accounts because they think she spends too much and sometimes they are not sure she is the one using the cards so they block transactions to make sure they are not liable should it not be coming from her.
I may look like a fool but I am definitely not a fool to buy into this sort of crap—and the fact that this lady thought I could not see through her thick nonsense nearly got me upset.
Obviously, this girl is not whatever she claims to be but somehow, she has managed to convince herself that she is actually that dream girl. If we were all what we dream of; then the world couldn’t contain all our egos, show off-ness and big doings (not just big talks).
Remember I was meeting this woman mainly to see her logo and receive my initial deposit for the pending work and guess what, her PA failed to bring her MacBook Pro to her last night so she didn’t bring the logo, so she said. She did not even bring the logo on a pen drive or CD. And also, she didn’t have the cash on her—obviously I know that because if she did, she would have used a bit to save that situation few minutes ago.
She brought out a cheque book and asked for my full name. This woman was writing me a cheque, which was post-dated to be cashed on 30th January, 2015. This is where I decided to let her know, I can clearly see through her crap…
There was no way I was going to start developing her website without the initial deposit and considering what just happened, I was worried about getting the remaining payment when the job is finally done—so I told her, I wouldn’t start until the cheque clears despite her assurance that I should trust her and start immediately.
Of course I should trust her many talks…right?
When the meeting ended and I decided to walk her to the car park, she said she didn’t bring her car because of the £11 congestion charge. It was Saturday (weekend) for Christ sake and there was no congestion charge but you know what, I couldn’t be bothered to point it out to her.
There are millions of black people living like this woman I met—and out of desperation to impress, live a life beyond their means or belong to some sort of class, they end up embarrassing themselves, landing themselves in depressing and sometimes they go beyond the reasonable to engage in criminal enterprises. They do all these because they want to be part of a certain non-existing class and when they cannot even pull it; they are forced (not by anyone but themselves) to throw lies and dust into the eyes of people.
I know several black people who are behind on their mortgage payments and yet, they fly first class—paying for these travels with credit cards that they are only paying the minimum each month.
To some extent, many of these people have bought into their own lies—it is a little safe to lie to people but getting high on your own supply of lies is what lands people into bigger problems. I had no doubt that Jessica has long bought into her own lies, smoking her own supply.
For many people like Jessica, it’s good that someone is able to look at them once a while in the face and say without blinking; cut the crap honey, I can see through your thick nonsense…
nice one!
You are an amazing writer plus you have nailed it on the head. A lot of people put themselves into a lot just to impress or show off. These days women spend too much than they have and that is why we have subtle prostitution on the rise.
This Jessica girl paa.. Animguasi akwaaba. Go get a life and find somewhere to sit instead of u wasting people’s time and energy. LMAO..
Wow!
Hmmm Nice article.I have a friend who wrote on his car,don’t see me and yorb.haha yorbingss….am a typical Akyem man and know some of our pals from the other block,hope I didn’t mention any names,are fond of this.You can lie I careless but about academics,do you know what it takes to get even a Masters degree,hmmm sleepless nights of writing thesis and long essays.Its also because most of our pals especially those who live in the credit infested countries,where even doughnuts are paid on credit come home and yorb and show off their mortgage homes and cars.Never watch someone’s dance moves else you influenced.By the grace of God be happy for what you have.I live in Asia and most Ghanaians find it less attractive a place to live but to tell you the truth,you can brighten the corner wherever you are.We buy cars and houses and by the grace of God we can shout they ain’t with mortgages.