As a Ghanaian, I have observed with disgust how untruthful many Ghanaians are—especially to the people they claim to love and those they ought to be sincere to.
Of course it is difficult to look into the eyes of someone you love, cut the ‘bullshyt’ and tell the person the truth that he or she hates to hear. But if you love someone, telling the person the truth that will make the person a better person in the long run should matter more than scoring some good points in the person’s book with lies…
Ghanaians are a bunch of insincere people—and not just to themselves but to those around us too. We are full of sugar-coated words and when something is awful, we say it is beautiful; one of the key reasons we never seem to get far with achievements.
Most Ghanaians live in total denial and this is made worst by the fact that the people around them continue to tell them the ‘bull’ they want to hear—knowing that, they are not doing this person they love any good.
Last week, I attended an event and two friends sat behind me. Soon after they sat, a third friend who must have been running late joined them and the moment she sat down; she asked, what do you think of my dress and hair?
She caught my attention with her question and when I turned; I nearly said ‘disaster’ because that is the only right word befitting how this lady was dressed. But her friends showered on her all manner of praises, saying she looks great and if they were to hold a dress competition, she would definitely win.
When this third lady excused herself to use the bathroom less than 30 minutes later, the two women laughed hard, saying all manner of things about their friend—and they went as far as calling her a loser for that bad hair and dress.
I felt sorry for her so you know what; I walked into the bathroom and met her there. I told her what her friends said and also helped her fix her hair. For the dress, we could do nothing about it but at least she knew it was bad so she wouldn’t make a fool out of herself by going anywhere near the auditorium’s high table.
You may say these two friends are evil and may have something against their friend—or they are just cold hearted people. But I have seen several situations where a fellow Ghanaian will be showering praises on another when the person knows that, the other does not deserve the praises. And if anything at all, she should be criticising her friend without fear or favour; because that will make her better.
It’s not just a Ghanaian female disease because the men are worst and for the many I have come across, I am yet to meet someone who can look into the eyes of a friend or a family member and tell the person the truth the person needs to hear—when it really matters.
We are a generation of non-achievers because we hate to be criticised harshly and we have no critics around us. We like people to sing praises all the time when we do not really deserve it.
It is the same in our professional world. A Ghanaian actor or actresses is as bad as the word itself and yet, her colleagues or even the people who claim to love him or her will never mention it. Failing to mention it is not even that bad but going ahead to lie to the person to the extent that the person begins to believe in the lies is cruel.
A Ghanaian musician releases a song or a video and even though it’s not worth anything, no will be able to tell him or her that; this is not good and you have to work hard if you want to make it. Instead, the person will be showered with praises, all being lies—and mostly I wonder, where is our love for each other? Where is the desire to see each other become a better person?
We seem to want people to riot in their failure and the shocking part of this attitude is that, when the person is not around, we will say it as it is. We will be able to tell it all behind his or her back but when the person needs to hear the truth, we start lying…
People hate to hear the truth but the difference between everyone and the person you care about or love is that; you owe it to the person to tell him or her that truth, no matter how much it will hurt.
I respect people the more when they cut through the cobweb and tell me exactly what the truth is, even if I didn’t like it.
We’ve become pure evil and prefer to glorify ourselves in each other’s failure when we could have helped the person become a better individual by saying it as we saw it…
Don’t bother ever asking a Ghanaian his opinion because mostly, he or she will be kissing your butt, an attitude which has become part of our DNA—we are just awful beyond repairs.