Let’s get this off the way before we get into the actual discussion…
When I was an undergraduate student, I met a girl from Barbados and she was a lot more into me than I was. In fact, she asked for my number after one of our law seminars under the pretence of wanting to be my study mate.
She was a beautiful girl—and very interesting. Our regular hangouts at the University led to us kissing many times and from there, we started having lunch together—and went to the cinema so many times.
Our cinema trips were like romantic getaways; we did a hell lot that romantically kissing does not even come close to it—we got really intimate.
One day, she asked to visit me and we decided that; after school I would take her home and then the next day we would come to lectures together. So she was sleeping over—and she happily packed her bag for this sleepover.
By that time, I had kissed this young woman more than 50 times, I had touched her breast uncountable times and anytime she was driving, one of my hands found a permanent position on her thighs.
So I knew I was going to get laid that night—in fact, I thought it was going to happen that night and that was a guarantee.
That evening, we had some pizza and watched a movie together. And then when I was taking a shower, she walked into the bathroom. She asked if she could come in though—and I said YES.
She sat and talked to me while I was showering and she even fetched the towel for me. At this stage, I knew I was definitely going to get laid.
When we later got into bed, we kissed, cuddled and did every thing; she touched me at all places and I did too. But when I tried taking the only panty she was wearing off; she whispered into my ears—-‘no sex today please, why the rush?’
I was really shocked, how can this girl be holding my ‘stick’ and my fingers down there—and yet telling me she does not want to have ‘seks’.
At that stage, all she had on was her panty and her bra—I believe I could have pushed to have seks with her without her consent but that would have been rape.
She was consenting to everything including me putting my fingers into her coochie—but she was not consenting to penile penetration. If I went ahead to penetrate her, that would have been rape.
A CCTV video has been released by StarrFM of KKD and the 19 year old he is alleged to have been raped romantically kissing before the bathroom seks—and on social media, some are asking how can anyone say KKD raped this girl as they romantically kissed each other.
It’s shocking how most African men think when it comes to the issue of consent to sex (rape) and mostly I don’t blame them; it’s because our African women allow us take a lot of piss. I am a Ghanaian man and I know what it is; many Ghanaian men are of the view that, you have to at least force/push an African woman a bit to have seks with her. And that when she is saying NO—it actually means YES; you just have to pester or push her into doing it…
A woman can do everything with you, including giving you a blowj*b; that in its self does not mean she cannot be raped by you if she does not consent to penile penetration.
What comes under contention in most rape cases is; CONSENT and this is what we are struggling with—this is what most Ghanaians do not really understand.
Consent to romantically kiss someone is not the same as consent to allow the person to have seks with you.
My bajan friend consented to everything including my fingers in her coochie—but she expressly did not consent to penetration. That may sound stupid, weird and unfair but she had every right as a woman to make that decision.
And if you want to know what happened between us; few days later, she texted me to say—I am on the train to your flat; be ready to be knocked out all night. She was one hell of a ‘seks maniac’ but even such a person who loves it too much can be raped if she is not consenting.
Perhaps, it is also stupid and weird that a husband can be deemed to have raped his wife in Ghana and in many other jurisdictions—but that is the law. This shows that, a woman has autonomy over her body and being her husband does not mean, she has automatically consented to having ‘seks’ with you.
Let’s stop the propaganda and educate each other—especially the men when it comes to the issue of consent. Most of the men I have spoken to seem to be under the illusion that, the moment a woman starts kissing and doing all sorts, it means she cannot be raped by you.
Of course, our personal opinions do not really matter when it comes to the law—and what the law says is that; a woman must consent to seks—if it happens without her consent, that is RAPE…
And in KKD’s case, it’s the judge who would consider his story against that of the girl to establish if the sexual intercourse was consensual as KKD claims or NOT as the girl claims.
Also, remember KKD is alleged to have NOT used a condom…In January, 2014, a man was charged in UK for rape for having seks with a woman without condom, when the woman insisted he used a condom.
The Mail Online reported;
“A man on trial for rape for allegedly refusing to wear a condom on the third time he had ‘ses’ with a woman in a one-night stand has told the jury it was 100 per cent consensual.
Imomotimi Wilson, 30, met his alleged victim in a pub and she agreed to go back to his house but told him she would only have ‘seks’ if he used protection.
They had consensual ‘seks’ twice but on the third occasion claims that Wilson failed to use a condom.
The woman, a 40-year-old, said Wilson treated her ‘like a piece of meat’ as the alleged attack took place.
She said he held her hands over her head and told her ‘if you love me you’ll do it’ before raping her for 15-20 seconds.’
Anyway, watch the video below…
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGTjoLXoD1M
It doesn’t give the man the right. But I wonder how she can prove this. Maybe she also has a tape. Lol
For me it’s not about the kissing, but the fact that she made no noise during the s*x and even the fact that after the act, they both walked off together like couples. I mean there couldn’t have been rape in this. She wasn’t drugged- she was totally sane, and at 19 she is grown enough to consent to s*x.
Did you actually read the whole article? So you think if I had decided to push through my ‘banging mate/friend’ that night, she would have screamed? No she wouldn’t have I believe—but that wouldn’t mean I didn’t sleep with her without consent (making it rape).
Let’s educate ourselves on this and stop the propaganda. Try that outside Ghana with a white girl or any ‘educated’ girl like my friend who was also a law student and understood the law; and you would find yourself in jail.
When did screaming become the meaning of not-consenting?
But then how does she prove this? A lot of women are raped daily by people they trust and are not able to come out cos is a delicate issue. It happens everywhere. Bill Cosby case is a classic eg. So is not fair to present the case as if is only in ghana or illiterates that keep quite over this. Is difficult cos the society rather attacks the.victim. Even research shows that most victims relocate/change their jobs etc cos of why society treats them. So you may be surprised the girl might not report you cos of stigma and the price she would have to pay.
As a woman I think as.much as.possible we should not create the.condusive environment for men to take advantage. Whatever the case prevention is better than cure
@Chris, asking, what did the numerous white girls raped by Bill Cosby do – but waiting for over 2 decade to say they were raped (among them were educated ladies). Second, what by far has this 19 year old lady shown as evidence that she was actually raped?. Thanks.
The evidence is KKD semen found inside her. Stop defending a pedophile!!
You can still find semen in consensual s*x.. The evidence will be some force of sorts i.e bruises, marks on body, injured private parts,scratches etc….
Chris, The fact that white girls and educated women scream rape doesn’t necessary mean they were raped. The world is littered with false accusations and buyer’s remorse accusations. You cannot possibly use that as the threshold of what constitutes rape. In the early 19 hundreds many black men lost their lives in the south US by being accused of rape by white southern women. Even looking them in the eye was ‘raping them with your eyes’. Rape is a violent act and can only be determined by what force was applied to subdue the victim. Unless you use that threshold anyone can cry rape. Even years after the fact.
Let me use ur eg as a study, a private act took place between two people, there was no one there,after the act one of them comes out to say she didnt consent to the act, the other said she did, there was no recorder or video, in this case, how do u establish who is telling the truth, unless u want to say that the alleged victim’s word is taken as the absolute truth that cannot be a lie, then we can establish rape here, other than that we have to look for other supporting evidence like violence, force, screaming, resistance etc as described by the other ppl on the platform to establish that there was indeed rape. That is my honest opinion. Thank you
He should have known better to know the 19 years old girl was even younger than his daughter.
You call that forceful kissing as romancing? NO wonder it is becoming a fact that the black man is ignorant in romance. What a joke?
Hahaha
@ Chris..I wonder what your interest in this story is… I’m starting to believe ksm’s assertion that there’s a massive plot against this gentleman…a victim of rape happily walking out of a hotel hand-in- hand with the accused…lol this must be the most romantic rape that ever was in the annals of history….. We are not buffoons !
Thank you Kkkk for stating the obvious .”we are not buffoons”!!!…And to vincent,you are starting to sound very pathetic.I wonder whats in this story for you.We are not blind ,writing articles about this story every few Hours.We have ears to hear and eyes to see,and if we go by what we are seeing in the video above,then there is no case of rape there.And lets flip the coin to the other side,why should a 19 year old girl be kissing a 50 years old man he has just met.Girls of today are becoming too cheap.
The video means there is no rape? Can you tell us what is the definition of rape?
This man pulled the girl to the corner do you know what the girl told him when he pulled her? Some Ghanaians need to be put in a cage at the zoo because too much nkwasiasem in this country we live in
I wish i were near u to give u a hug for ur comment. I dont know why some people are defending him.
You must also ask yourself, how on earth would a 50yr old man be doing such a thing with a 19yr old girl. Isn’t he old enough to know better. The girl might be cheap but Mr. old MANTHER KKD is the cheapest.
Which planet are you from? Rape mean run away or you cannot walk with the person who has raped you and later go and report? As Chris always say, Ghanafoa bi ye nkwasiafoa ampa
@ Afrikankid, I beg to differ but you’re the one who sounds stupid(kwasianipa) did you ever come across the word chronology ? We’ll let me help your blockhead with it …it refers to the sequential arrangement of events in the order of their occurrence … Out of this one could make an accurate prediction, the demeanor of the victim/accused before and after the alleged act is very crucial to determining the gravamen of the matter…Why would any levelheaded person resort to such a repugnant attitude as yours in the discussion of this all important matter… You sure need a lot of upgrading … You are an APOLOGY!
I didn’t see anything romantic about the kissing and even the fact that the lady kissed him back when he pulled her to the corner doesn’t give him any right to force himself on her. No means no Men. There are a lot of young ladies who are going through this but they always keep quite and blame themselves for going to the man house. I have friends who have experience this form of rape before and I know how they feel. The lawyer of KKD should stop trying to let the public sympathies with his client and rather concentrate on how to win the case because I don’t see him win. That is my opinion.
Exactly.
This proves that 70 percent of ghanaians can’t read and comprehend english. Missing the whole point about rape, it’s an issue of consent regardless of what happened before or after.
Chris,
The conclusion of your story doesn’t measure up to what is at issue here. Your Bajan friend said ‘NO’ and wouldn’t allow you to take of her underwear. That is resistance. And that certainly means no penile penetration. And she said it loud and clear. She resisted. If you had tried to force it she would have fought you and possible kicked you in the nether yayas. Let me give you a scenario from your story that that compares to what you are accusing KKD of. Imagine the next morning after your incident your Bajan friend goes to the police and files rape charges against you for putting your fingers in her coochie and attempting to take her underwear off. What was the proof that she gave you her consent to insert your fingers in her coochie and attempt to take her underwear off? Simply because she came to the bathroom and allowed you to touch her boobs doesn’t mean she wanted you to finger fuck her or take her underwear off. How do you prove that she consented to be finger fucked?
With regards to the Wilson story, she was physically restrained. That was not the case here. In the act she was first on top (where she could have just gotten up and fled if it was against her wishes) then bent over in the second position (where she could have easily walk off KKD’s d*ck). If you take out your personal disgust and hatred for the guy out, you’ll see there is a lot that doesn’t make sense in this case. What kind of rapist allows the victim to be on top?
Your question is; What kind of rapist allows the victim to be on top? Where did you get to know the girl was on top or had some back style? You are a smart person so please reason here…
Who was in the bathroom with these two people to know this? There was no camera there so we cannot possibly know this. The girl has not accepted that there as this position; if anything at all, it is reasonable to assume KKD and his people are the one saying this—to add credibility to his consent story.
I wouldn’t come to a whole conclusion as you just did based on what one party has said (which we cannot ascertain if it is true or not). I would have asked the question; who said this happened? and then weigh what the person stands to gain from that information to try and find out—if it is possible that it is the truth.
You concluded and spoke as if it is a fact that this really happened—therefore there is no rape.
From what I have also been told, there was no such position, the girl was forced to the wall—now how do you make your conclusion based on this?
Back to my bajan girl; she did not resit or say it loud (I don’t know your definition of loud) but certainly romantically whispering into a man’s ear is not loud, while holding his stick or being on top of him.
I am more than 98% sure that if I ignored her whisper of ‘no seks’ and went on to take off her panty, she wouldn’t have screamed—she may at best be disappointed that I had seks with her when she was not ready. She wouldn’t walk out of my house that night and we would have still gone to school together the next day.
None of the above invalidates the fact that, I had seks with her without her consent—and therefore it would have been rape. I also think she wouldn’t have reported me to the police…
Perhaps, you are struggling with the issue of consent in rape—and you should sit to consider that.
Ok. I will consider your statement about the positions and dig a bit deeper. On being forced to the wall as you stated, you also have to consider the physical expense required to force a 19 year old against a wall, restrain her, take off her underwear and insert a pe**s. Balance it with the strength of a decadent 49 year old man and you will see clear deficits. If this was not a romantic encounter then the physical strength need to achieve this has to be overwhelming. And I don’t believe KKD has that strength to hold a girl against the wall with one arm and do all that with the other. When one considers all the data it doesn’t support rape.
The truth is very simple to tell as opposed to lies which needs a lot of linguistic gymnastics to explain a simple fact…If your argument is premised on the fact that no one was in the room with them, how then can we take the victims word as gospel , there’s a degree of probability that she could also be misleading us..as my brother rightly put it “if you take out your personal disgust and hatred for the guy, you’ll see there is a lot that doesn’t make sense in this case”.. Stay blessed , stay alive and may you harbor the courage to be objective at all times irrespective of your feelings and biases
Manassehatsu de rapist
LOL! Sorry you are not child. Perhaps you need to call you father that. Seems you are a child of rape hence your rape obsession.
Now I spot your problem; rape is a violent act? HELL No. Rape is seks without consent—nothing to do with violence.
If a woman says no don’t do it and you go ahead to do it (even if she enjoys it), it is still rape. It doesn’t have to be violent to be rape…
The fact that anyone can cry rape does not the law on rape has changed and the threshold has either…
No where in the world including Ghana is rape determined by the level of violence or force—it is easy to prove if there was violence but that is not the determining factor.
You are a smart person—stop this! Ah…I think you now just taking the piss and not having an intelligent conversation.
Oh I see, then that is the misunderstanding. I am afraid we are talking about rape in Ghana—which is the same as in the UK. Check Ghana’s criminal code out…
In the UK, rape is not a violent act; check the statute out. Check the laws and leave the commentaries please—come on, we talking law…
Rape in UK is this; Sexual Offences Act 2003, Section 1
Rape
(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a)he intentionally penetrates the vag*na, an*s or mouth of another person (B) with his pen*s,
(b)B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.
(2)Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.
(3)Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.
(4)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment fo
PS. I was stating what should be used to determine a rape. Did the perpetrator use force? Was there coercion or threat? Was the victim subdued in one way or the other? Those are my criteria for rape since rape is a sexual assault. There should be these markers to make it an assault.
Now we are back to assault; hehehe…Did you see any force or assault in any of the definitions above?
Also, your understand of assault is WRONG in law. Someone assaults you if reasonably you believe he was going to harm you and capable of; even if he does not actually do it. It is the reasonable apprehension of immediate harm that is called assault—not the harm or violence in itself.
This is the legal definition of assault; an assault is committed where the defendant intentionally or recklessly causes the victim to apprehend immediate unlawful personal violence. So the violence must necessary have happened; it’s the apprehension of such a violence that is ASSAULT in law…
Once again, physical violence or harm is not necessary!
What should be used to determine rape is CONSENT! I did state that in my article.
Alright let’s use your definition of assault in the case. Like I said rape is a sexual assault in my neck of the woods. Using this case can you prove assault? I mean using your definition of assault. Since no one was in the room, consent in this case can only be proven by the physical factors you want to dismiss. We can’t assume that woman didn’t give consent then, because she’s claiming rape now. Or you don’t believe the concept of buyers remorse?
In Canada CONSENT is defined as the voluntary agreement of the complainant to engage in the sexual activity in question. Based on the physical data in this case – no proof of coercion or threats, no drugging, no restraints and no hypnosis one is just left to argue that it was voluntary. Which in the Canadian statute means consent was given.
Chris, see below. See force is mentioned?
Definition of Sexual Assault in Canada’s Criminal Code
Canada’s Criminal Code has no specific “rape” provision. Instead, it defines assault and provides for a specific punishment for “sexual assault”. In defining “assault”, the Code includes physical contact and threats. The provision reads:
265. (1) A person commits an assault when
(a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly;
(b) he attempts or threatens, by an act or a gesture, to apply force to another person, if he has, or causes that other person to believe on reasonable grounds that he has, present ability to effect his purpose; or
(c) while openly wearing or carrying a weapon or an imitation thereof, he accosts or impedes another person or begs.
(2) This section applies to all forms of assault, including sexual assault, sexual assault with a weapon, threats to a third party or causing bodily harm and aggravated sexual assault.
I agree with you!! Even in the healthcare setting when a healthcare professional is looking for positive signs of rape you look for “physical forceful evidence of some sort”.
Why are Ghanaians so ….. anyways I know a guy who spent 10 yrs in jail for rape. He came to the US and decided he did not want Ghanian girls. he went out with a Spanish girl with a friend and both of them convince the girl and they slept with her they ended up driving her home you get my drift?as soon as she got home she told her father they both raped her so her walking out with kKD does not mean it did not happen
I swear dis fool is a rapist
Perhaps your father is a more suitable candidate for that title
I am a Canadian lawyer, and your interpretation of the law is entirely wrong !! …. if you do not understand the law, please stop this nonsense you’re writing.
A Canadian lawyer? Only in your dreams. You can’t possibly be. After all you are a mere Ghanaian. I doubt it that you have the brains to be a canadian lawyer. Now f**k off with you fake law degree.
Nonsense! A Canadian lawyer? Only in your dreams. Where I am I wrong? I doubt it that you are a lawyer.
This is sooo true tho; but it might be tough with her proving it as lin said
It will be difficult for her to proof since KKD forgot to use a condom and upon doctors investigation KKD sperm where detected. At least he should have withdrawn his P**** but he went all in I guess.
Thats true.
People, stop defending him. He is too old to be doing such a thing with a young girl, young enough to be his daughter. This man has no shame at all.
AH? so cos they kissed, that means the sexual act could not have been unconsensual??? Come on now people. That doesnt mean nothing. Chris, I am currently in a relationship like yours. She spent the xmas holidays with me. We did everything including cunnilingus & BJs. But when I decided to penetrate her, she said No, she wasnt ready. it was soft but firm, so I refrained. I could have forced myself on her cos obviously she was weak but that would have been RAPE. I dont see why ppl are finding it hard to grasp this concept of CONSENT in rape. Being captured kissing & walking hand-in-hand on camera doesnt mean she consented to penile penetration!!!
Come on, ‘A’ talks about force—B does not say you must apply force—apprehension of false is what ‘B’ says so you can rape someone in Canada just as in UK and Ghana without violence or applying force as long as the victim at the time apprehends force or violence (that is the definition of assault as I gave you).
Even look at C as well, there is no force, just threat or intimidation alone is enough for rape…
One thing about law is; they are somewhat consistent and this definition you gave fits well with the UK and Ghana definition.
So rape is not a violent or force crime, but it can be…
So now that this is establish, why don’t you stick to Ghana law because what applies to Canada will not necessary apply in Ghana—though mostly they may be the same.
It’s interesting how people make their argument. If u have been in a situation like what his young girl did, u would appreciate it more. Let me tell u people that whatever u people are reading in the media is just propaganda. I’m a media person and my inside checks reveal that he raped the girl. That’s the information from the highest of the police hierarchy. Perhaps, his cousin, KOD, will be best to give details. He was part of the whole scheme. Have u heard any comment from him? God will punish all the men who use their status to take advantage of young girls. He will deal with all of them. This is just the beginning. Oh what a way for a young lady to lose the virginity. Through rape. She was a virgin. Justice must be served irrespective of who is involved
He thinks he can use his fame to take advantage of young girls. KKD should just pray that lady judge is not like me. If not, he will go in for 20 years. Foolish man. Pls, it’s disgusting to read messages from ladies supporting KKD. And who told u people that they walked out of the hotel together. It’s a big lie please. KKD was arrested at the African Regent hotel. That was where he was. Where was the lady. My colleague media people especially Bola Ray and his starr fm should spare us of all the proganda. It’s just a shame. His cup is just full and he past pay for his deeds. Dog of a man like KKD.
If I ask a man to l*ck me and I disagree to penile penetration, it’s rape. The fact that we cuddle and fondle and even give u bj doesn’t mean I want s*x. As for Ghanaian women , that is how far we have cheapened ourself
And oh, those making the argument that the lady didn’t consent to the rape bcos she didn’t make noise is very daft. Do u know the emotional trauma she will be in to even want to scream. She might do at the beginning but will eventually give up. From my sources, she did scream but KOD prevented the lady’s cousin from entering. When she insisted and went to knock, it was locked so she couldn’t enter. All this while, Kod was there. If he has balls as man, he should come out to deny. He should also be arrested for conspiracy. Foolish guys
Ermm is it kkd or kod? Am lost here
There is no evidence that KKD raped the alleged victim. There is also no evidence that the alleged rape took place. There is also no evidence that KKD is telling the truth or is not. There is also no evidence that the girl is telling the truth. KKD may have raped her under gun or knife point, hence the lack of resistance. The alleged victim may have willingly consented to the banging, had a great time and only changed her mind after her boyfriend found out she cheated. Or maybe KKD had a small penis and the girl is making the claim out of disappointment. Or she advised KKD not to come inside her so she got pissed about that. Or a tycoon somewhere hates KKD and paid this girl some big money to spoil his name. Or the girl is probably maame water and we are all living in this illusory vortex of a fifth dimension blabbing over shit that even isn’t real. So you see, it could be anything. The facts are, two consenting adults went into a hotel and “chopped” each other, arguably had heavenly orga*ms, and now one of them is crying rape (Could have been the other way round by the way – Men also get raped by women). At this point, it would be very immature and ignorant to take sides until this is thoroughly investigated with the accused having his day in court. Be open minded, relax, rub your big balls and just watch the show until we all get to the bottom of this horse shit.
So someone of Ghanaian origin cannot be a qualified lawyer in Canada right? You see the mentality you have? I know your type well. Those “nay sayers” who lack ambition and hence try to limit others too. I’ve been practicing law in Canada for 5 yrs and I’m pretty sure I’ve encountered you several times coming through the system. #Recidivist #GoodLuck
Nice article,just my candid opinion,I think most people back home need to sit up and evaluate issues especially relating to domestic violence,rape…..I think in Ghana our legal system need to do more to lay the legal frame works and parameters to help establish and make certain laws such as this more clearer. I have painstakingly gone through through the constitution and other cases such as this,you hardly find out a well laid out framework or clearer explanation in our Ghanaian laws.I think we should make it a national concern to invest more time and resources to legally demarcate and draw clearer understanding on the domestic violence law and rape.I think this case although unfortunate I think it should serve as an awareness and help sensitize the Ghanaian populace.We all waiting to see the outcome since as it stands now whether we like it or not it’s become a national issue,most of us are waiting to see how the legal system works in our country and also serve as a precedent for future cases and case study for most law students..