Girls Abr3: It’s My Goddam Pot And I Can Cook As Many Times As I Want in There…


Black woman
Black woman

As an African woman, I am worked out and damn tired of the constant judgement of women by society, especially men who mostly live below the standard they judge women with…

These judgements make me feel women are deemed as persons who cannot make their own decisions—do not know what is good for their lives and as such, a bunch of self chosen rulers must determine what women do with their lives, including how many times they wanna f**k or who they f**k.

When a woman gets to a certain age, I will comfortably tick this age at 25; such a woman should have developed all the needed senses of reason and rational thinking to be able to decide for herself, what she is good for her—and once again, including how many times a week she wants to cook in her own damn pot without people rolling their eyes.

What makes us human beings as opposed to some animals camped at a Zoo and being watched by their kidnappers is the fact that, we have autonomy over about bodies—we are free to do whatever we want with our bodies.

This may seem simple in principle but any attempt to practice body autonomy on an African soil wouldn’t be possible because a bunch of strangers will judge you from your toe to your head—calling you all manner of names for deciding to enjoy your own body or give it out to whoever you find fit.

The true definition of prostitution which is considered a social vice by majority of people is trading s*x for money—and it is not, cooking as many times as you want in your POT. But people seem to ignore the fact that, it is not the number of times a woman cooks in her POT that makes her a prostitute, rather, what the person gets in return for the cooking…

Today, there are several so called ‘expensive young girls’ in Ghana sleeping with men purposely for money well defined in their minds as a business transaction—and perhaps because they are with one man at a time (for about 3-6 months), they are not termed prostitutes.  Yet, if I decide to bring home a different man each night for purely enjoyment purposes without any money exchanging hands, I would quickly be labelled as such…

I hate this but it seems that is our people’s understanding of prostitution—forgetting that, a woman has an inherent right to decide the number of times she wants to cook in her own pot and no one should have to be worried.

I have had people look at me funny because of this position I have taken when it comes to body autonomy and to be frank, how does it affect you or how is it your business if I decide to open my legs for any Peter I find tall in the course of my year?

People like to poke their noses into the affairs of others to the extent that, they now feel they have a strong say in what another full grown adult does with her life—when this does not in anyway affect them.

Strangely, these same people forget that we all have different taste buds and while some people are light eaters, others like to continuously eat large. Few women can go a week without cooking in their pots and even though they have autonomy over their bodies, they continue to struggle in darkness for fear of the pointing fingers of some strangers who pretty much seem bored with their lives and therefore have take keen interest in that of others.

No one is in this world to save strangers and even if you feel you are; the stranger also has rights and the most important of such personal rights is her ability to ‘bang’ herself until she cannot walk again—with whoever she wants and how many times she wants.

I will understand another’s problem if in the exercise of a woman’s right to body autonomy, she is messing with her husband—but even that, such a woman should have major problems with her husband, not the strange woman who is just having fun with her life while the other will die short of that fun…

I hate the increasing nature society is being judgemental when it comes to women and how we want to use our own bodies…

If I desire to bend over for the invisible pen each dawn with a different teacher, that is my goddam business and that is my own goddam pot—it shouldn’t be your headache or subject of conversation.  After all, I am not even taking money from it so you cannot call my activities a social vice; I just happen to have different needs and high level of appetite…

And remember, every adult woman has autonomy over her body; what a woman does with her body or the number of times she decides to cook in her pot should not be used as the rod of social judgement. It shouldn’t even matter to you let alone make it into your books of judgement.

Can’t a woman freely scream any more? For me, it’s my neighbours I damn pity…



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