‘He/She Got Too Many Baggage’- Don’t We ALL?

3 min

angry black woman


Have you ever met a lady/gentleman with bad body odour but always complaining about other people’s odour or a talkative telling another talkative he/she talks too much?

We’re very quick to wave off people and complain about the flaws of others when we are in the same category with them but feel they have a problem. Before you tell someone to go buy a deodorant, buy limes to deal with your odour. We all have a baggage in one way or the other; the only difference is some people’s baggage is in double excess which requires one with a very large heart to deal with.

Certain life experiences naturally confer ‘some baggage honours’ on us – it may not seem like a baggage to us but it is to others. Unfortunately, other people’s baggage is such a big deal to us that they’re not ‘dateable’ or ‘marriageable’.

Some people are even saddled with self-esteem issues – that is their baggage. They have been in relationships which they allowed themselves (yes they did – not the other person) to be emotionally and psychologically abused. They’ve automatically accepted the ‘door mat’ lifestyle where they find it very normal for ‘love interests’ to treat them anyhow. When they get someone who treats them well and with respect, they start reading meanings into everything and even get suspicious of the person. Dealing with an emotionally damaged person is not a walk in the park.

If you’re arrogant, you also have a baggage. Live with an arrogant person especially if he has the added profession of putting people down and you’ll see how useless he’ll make you feel. They think the world starts and ends at their feet but always complain someone is rude. Their sense of self-importance does not allow them to see anything beyond their nose

A man who has chased everything in skirt before deciding to settle down has his own baggage. When the past comes calling, it’s the ‘innocent’ wife who sometimes bears all the consequences of his wild ways. How is he different from a lady who has experienced all the crooks and crannies of life (men wise)?

But this same man will complain about a lady’s past life saying she is not ‘marriageable’ and please don’t tell me it’s a man’s world. If it’s their world, they should be men and stop living on women’s money and moving into their homes. You carry baggage, I carry baggage, period!

Even virgins have their baggage – they’re inexperienced and someone must have the patience of teaching them where to place stuff and how to turn! Imagine two inexperienced people coming together, they’ll either float or drown.

If someone/better half has not complained about our attitude or habits, it doesn’t mean we’re perfect – it only means they have accepted us for who we are – warts and all – so we shouldn’t make it a habit of pointing out their faults like a clock which chimes every hour. If you don’t have the patience and understanding to deal with people’s shortcomings, you let them be. You only grow and build with someone who is ready and willing.

My case is we all have our baggage, some we can handle, others we can’t but we shouldn’t feel too perfect in our own eyes and see the imperfections in others especially if we’re guilty of the same thing we’re accusing others of.  We help each other to grow – that’s if the person is ready to grow. When we’re coming into equity we must always come with clean hands