There are some heartbreaks women cause with their own hands but since they always want to be and play the victims, they blame others for their ‘misfortune’.

If we’re very truthful to ourselves, majority of people who treated us badly and hurt us told and showed us who they really are but we shrugged it off until it became a reality. Others, we only got to know when their ‘true self’ popped out.

When you’re dating a man with three kids maybe with the same woman or different women (not married to any of them) and you never meet any of the kids when you go over to his place. After probing and he tells you ‘I only see my children when I feel like it’. Looking at the brighter side, he’s a truthful man BUT….

…That statement is a big warning but a lady who thinks she’s smart will not pay any attention or think it doesn’t really matter because after all, she’s too special to be treated same by the irresponsible sperm donor. When she gets pregnant and Mr Lover guy starts playing his usual hide and seek, then ‘madam I’m too special to be treated like the others’ starts crying foul, saying men are wicked.

I don’t see any wickedness in what he did. He told you “I’m irresponsible” (I only see my kids when I feel like it) and you ‘told’ him to bring it on; why cry? He has not shirked his responsibilities; he’s doing what he knows how to do best – donating sperms. It may sound harsh but that’s the truth.

It has been said that it’s a good idea to look at how a man treats others because there is a high probability that this is how he will be treating you in the long term. If a man is disrespectful to others, no matter how he treats you now, you will later become one of his disrespected victims.

Sometimes people ‘shine’ during dating; they put on a fancy front to impress then the true colours pop out. The brave ‘I don’t care’ guys show you straight up (in actions and in words) who they are and what they are capable of.  If you’re lucky enough to encounter the latter and you get caught up in I-can-fix-him-and- manage-him-mode – well good luck! Just know that if he treats others disrespectfully, that’s how he’s likely going to treat you as time goes on.

If I see, know or hear how people treat and talk about others, me and my crazy mind will not smile and think ‘Aww, how lucky and special I am to be treated with class and dignity’, the little voice in my head will start singing ‘you can be next/don’t be the next victim’ – if it will happen or not, I’m not going to lose anything if I take care of myself by avoiding situations like that.

If you witness me disrespecting my family and others or talking ill of others, instead of you to call yourself to a meeting and tell yourself the truth and you go ahead to marry me. Do you sincerely think I’m going to respect you or treat you any better? I don’t respect and I’m not going to choose who to respect and not respect! I may give you a 14-day cooling period – that’s during the marriage ceremony and honeymoon. C’est fini (finish)!

We can only feel too special and give ourselves that special treat we want but believing we’re too special for someone who treats others badly or be handpicked from the ‘unfortunate’ ones to be treated differently is really expecting too much from people. Better to save and protect yourself before you become ‘one of them’ and realise that alas, you’re not too special!