Akosua Abebrese Writes: Gifty Anti…Adorable & Empowering But Her ‘Marriage Misfortune’ is Not A Crown for Women to Wear

6 min


Gifty Anti and her soon to be husband-Nana Ansah Kwao
Gifty Anti and her soon to be husband-Nana Ansah Kwao

I have been on a mini writing hiatus because my laptop broke down, I sent it for repairs and this good for nothing repairer left Accra for Bimbila to attend his great grandfather’s funeral without telling me—and up to date, he has not shown his face in Accra.

I guess in every misfortune there is a blessing since I have gotten a new laptop—by the kind courtesy of a man who wants to have his way with me though he is married with 6 children. I have told him I am not interested in playing with his married and fatherly pot belly but if he desire to make my everyday a Christmas, I sure have enough space in my room to take in all the goodies.

And you know what, I have screenshot our conversation so that if his wife shows up at my door one day, I will gladly show her that I did all a sister should have done for her husband to leave me alone—but he didn’t and he just wanted to help solve my financial problems.

When God sends the devil, He quickly sends the angel of kindness to redeem the chaos—He sent John Mahama to us in Ghana to capsize the economy and He gladly sent this man as my one and only redeemer.

Now that I have explained myself, let me move on to the serious issue. In fact, you guys are not my editors so why did I even bother explaining to you where I have been?

Gifty Anti
Gifty Anti

Anyway, the absence of the laptop also gave me a lot of free time to experiment new things with this young guy who just moved into my area—I may share his story one day when I am done draining all his energy.

So Gifty Anti is getting married after many years of wishing and praying, though she claims she was not doing any of these things…right? We do not sleep with her so it’s only reasonable that we believe she did not really care about getting marriage as a Ghanaian woman in her mid 40s.

You must know nothing about the importance of marriage in Africa and the societal structure of Ghana to believe Gifty Anti was genuinely not worried in anyway about the non-forthcoming of marriage while her age was on a speed dial, running like Tigo credit when you call China.

I believe she was worried though she once said she was not in a hurry to get married. At 45, if she was not in a hurry to get married, how come within few months after this comment, she is getting married? If that is not HURRY, what else is then?

I think Gifty should be honest about her situation, the fears that came with it and help others find solace in what has finally found her—but she seems to brush it off, saying, marriage has never been a big deal for her.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore Gifty Anti and I am happy that finally she is going to have a man she can look in the faces of all the haters and proudly say, he is MINE. Though it should not be so, husbands are the pride of most African woman—and our culture places huge significance on this.

But my problem lies in the conversation developing on the back of Gifty Anti’s situation—with women saying, marriage does not really matter and even at 45 you can still get married. So a woman should not work towards getting married at a reasonable age. This is where they cite Gifty Anti…

Look, that is plain BS out there—Gifty Anti’s case should be the exception and it should not to be celebrated. Her misfortune should be regarded as so and we should be happy that things have turned around for her but we should not term this a heroic enterprise by saying, women shouldn’t worry when the marriage is taking donkey years to show its head.

That’s some lame deduction out there; because a woman has a biological clock and with procreation being a primary purpose of marriage, there is time boundary for every woman to seek this or to make it happen.

I know God is the one who gives children but He is also the one who instituted the biological clock—at 45 and over, it is not only likely impossible to have children but even if it happens, there is a high possibility of health complications.

So as much as we want to celebrate Gifty Anti for her excellence and women empowerment, we should be bold and wise enough to jilt the aspect of her life which is not worth emulating or wishing for.

Surely, I will be the last woman to advocate for desperation and adopting all means necessary to get married. However, the truth stands–which is, marriage is an important pillar in our society and a certain age range remains the reasonable time to get it done.

If you are between 25-37, that’s the time to have this done—anything above 37 is an exception which we should not condemn but we should not also in anyway accept that as a piece worth being taught to those tailing us.

We can sincerely look at the achievements of Gifty Anti and come to realize that marriage is not the defining factor in a woman’s life but I bet she wishes this marriage came way earlier—and not now that she is 45 years old.

I am certain she wouldn’t advise any woman to wait till 45 before getting married—so all of you women taking refuge in her misfortune as though it’s a crown have to re-evaluate the problem.

You can adore Gifty Anti all you want but don’t deceive yourself into thinking that, 45 is the best time for a woman to get married. And I will be mad if she ever suggests so…

If you missed my previous articles, CLICK HERE for them.

Akosua-Abebrese1

Writer’s Email: [email protected]