I know I have been missing for the better part of this year so far—and to be frank, it’s not my fault. I am a typical Ghanaian woman, just that I have an insane obsession with sex; so you shouldn’t expect that I house the blame for my apparent disappearance.
The truth is, I have been on an aggressive job and room hunting—and also, I have been looking for a man capable of taking me to cloud nine without the help of a Viagra, the new appetizer for most Ghanaian men.
Most of these Ghanaian landlords are cunning but at least, they are just thieves, unlike the many male recruitment officers and bosses of businesses I have come across who want to examine what’s inside my panties as if that is where my skills and CV reside.
It’s a jungle out here in Ghana; and let me mention that one landlord I dealt with last week could pass for President John Dramani Mahama—his promises were offensively empty. He tried to rent a chamber and hall to me as a one bedroom flat with his sidekick glorifying the offer as the best on the market.
If you’ve not lived in Ghana as a young single woman before, you wouldn’t completely appreciate and understand the plight of many of such women, including my myself.
Just saying it’s hard is ridiculously below reality—it’s torture and dehumanizing, especially when you wouldn’t be able to make any progress without serving your coochie on the plate for some old fat bastard to dissect with his toothpick like prick.
Perhaps, the heat and agony are the pushing wheels on which so many Ghanaian women are running into marriages, mostly, fueled by family pressures to get married even if they’ve not found a man of their own.
The chaos is insane; relationships out here are always under deranged panic—women are pushing to be wedded by men who on a reasonable scale do not merit the touch of their hair.
The Ghanaian society continues to take huge pride and accord undeserving respect and dignity to women who wear RINGS—irrespective of the value of the ring, the man behind it or how the woman came into wearing that ring.
The conversation is just about the ring; flaunt your ring and your status as a Mrs. will fetch you the needed respect. Men have become as scant as cocaine in heaven. And I am not talking about men of substance, even those half ball-men, with 5 baby Mamas, no directions or jobs are given free passes just so that women will get a RING on their fingers.
This brings me to the issue of Adwoa Saah, the host of Adom TV’s Telenovela, ‘Kumkum Bhagya.’
Though it doesn’t seem like much of a big deal because of the Ghanaian status quo, it shows that even the most celebrated vibrant Ghanaian women are affected by the plague—where having the ring is all that matters.
Reasonably, one would think that Adwoa Saah could get a decent man to herself and not run after someone GhanaCelebrities.Com rightfully described as a CHEAT, cunning and already with two baby mama dramas hovering over his head.
Running to the altar with a man of these descriptions is as suicidal as enrolling into a class where suicide bombers are being trained— Adwoa Saah is sitting on a time bomb but her desire to have her finger ringed is what seems paramount to her, her family and to the society she lives in.
I cannot count the number of times strangers who only know my first name have asked the piercing and yet important question; when are you getting married. As if they’ve found a decent man for me and they would be ready to foot the bill of the grand wedding they’ve already staged in their minds for me.
It’s a deadly one street conversation; I am not sure any young woman in Ghana can even say ‘NO’ to a marriage proposal these days—because, she would be instantly tagged a witch, bewitching her own self.
We may argue that we’ve zoomed past the era where women were regarded as materials to be married off, but we seem to have comfortably landed in another epoch where a woman’s dignity is measured by the ring on her finger.
Even when the man is a complete waste of time, useless and unworthy, Ghanaian women, irrespective of the status they’ve clothed themselves in cannot contemplate, let alone say “F**k the ring and F**k this man,” I deserve more than this.
I do not know Adwoa Saah, but as a Ghanaian woman who lives under the same scorching sun with her, I am proud of what she has made out of her hustle—yet, she seems to have lost it all to a man whose bragging rights are that he lives in United Kingdom, has had 2 children with 2 different women without just 2 years.
Of course it’s not a problem to marry a man who has children with his ex-partners, but we are talking about a man whose first partner only got to know that a second woman was pregnant for her man during the christening of their child.
And if a man has a child just about a year old, it’s only a lunatic Ghanaian woman who would claim to have been in a long term relationship with such a man, without realizing that, the man was cheating on her with others by just evaluating the ages of his two children, especially the recent.
But as I already said, you cannot blame Adwoa Saah very much—she is only doing what society expects. The direct and indirect coercion of women to get their fingers ringed, even if by a goat is pushing so many women into marriages that they wouldn’t otherwise have even considered themselves as candidates.
It’s sad but that’s where we are today. Women, even those achieving and somewhat have stable grounds seemingly do not have the option to say “F**k the Ring” because society is holding us hostage to this particular cause called MARRIAGE.
When it’s not worth it, we have the right, perhaps, a duty to walk out of the room without fear of any judgement from those whose conception of a worthy woman is a damn RING.
We must freely and loudly be able to say; ‘F**k the Ring & F**k the Man too.’
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