Having been working with Ms. Pyper Pebbles, I’ve come to understand that she appreciates honesty, even if it is clothed in disrespect and will in the short run hurt her.
Of course, that’s a reasonable position, take the hit if that’s what is true—-but what she forgets is that, a lot of people, perhaps majority of people do not have such strong locus in honesty.
In her recent article, she argues that, the world would possibly be spared some of the love-gone-bad hurts, if men were honest to women——in that, if a man wants sex, he should tell a woman that’s what he desires and not to embellish this with love to create a sense of some sort of lasting relationship.
Once again, that’s a great deduction but the question is; would that work?
How many women would forfeit the seemingly fine pathos that beautifully colours relationships and opt for the harsh realities of logos?
Men and women seem to be wired differently and so do they cherish different approaches and outcomes. I am not saying women love to be lied to: I am simply saying, women love to hear certain words and cherish certain things to be done, if these things happen to be true, that’s a gain and if they happen to be purposefully placed to score a point, that’s their loss.
Everyone, though some people would deny this, enters into a relationship with a motive—-some have strong interests which can be fetched from a mile away and others cleverly keep theirs hidden. But one thing is mostly true, these motives, irrespective of how bold or faint they are, serve the interest of whoever holds it.
On the back of personal motives, two people will neatly converge at a spot and then claim to have the interest of each other at heart, sometimes, one would even position himself or herself as placing the interest of the other over his or hers—-and then a relationship is set forth, a journey slightly hatched on deceit has started.
The truth is, if both parties were true to their cause and laid bare their motives on the table, they wouldn’t perhaps even start, let alone go anywhere—-because most personal interests can’t be spared the taint of selfishness.
Therefore, though it would be “sweet’ for a woman to know whether a man truly loves her or just wants sex, and base on that knowledge decide if she wants to be in the same space as this man, I believe a lot of women will reject such an upfront sex only proposal.
Even if not for the fact that women love to hear certain things (which men are smartly aware), the zeitgeist is such that, a dicey dish of love will at any day and time win over a blatant cooked meal of “I want just sex.”
A lot has changed over the years but when it comes to the sacredness of what lies in-between the thighs of a woman, that seems to have been well safeguarded and only a highly infinitesimal number of women would open their legs for any blatant sex proposal—-most would still appreciate not to hear the truth, even if it’s obvious that’s what the man is looking for.
It’s like a gamble; a man would want to get what he wants—-and to achieve that, he will play the game so well, pulling the right strings and doing exactly what will trigger a win.
If anyone ought to bare the blame for the apparent deception when it comes to garnishing sex with love, then it’s the one who has made it such that, a particular approach fetches a more desirable outcome than the other—-I mean, the woman.
You cannot walk to a woman and say, you are beautiful and I desire to have just sex with you one day, even if not now because I do not well know you yet. She will certainly slap you and label you a pathetic sociopath, if not a coarse pervert.
Note that, you may just want the above and here, you would have been honest to your cause and intention—-but most women are wired to reject this, and society itself is structured in a way that such an approach remains abnormal, even if that has all the ingredients of honesty.
So Ms. Pyper Pebbles’ position may sound frank but it’s only plausible on paper—-and perhaps in her small mirror. When you throw her approach into the grand scheme of the sex and relationship world, a man who dwells in such blatancy wouldn’t ever get laid.
The garnishing works, try it in Ghana, Afghanistan, Cuba and even North Korea—-and you will get some sexy panties regularly being pulled down for you.
Let’s not forget that, in some cases, men still have to sweet talk women they are in relationships with before these women willingly open their legs to a journey they themselves enjoy too. Imagine meeting any of such ridiculously sex-conscious women and throwing the ball straight into her face—-I want a good f**k, and nothing else.
Again, I feel Pyper in her article and call for honesty from men neglects an important aspect of sex, which is, it’s more fun when there’s some sort of emotional connection or when the two are on the same wavelength. And for such a connection to exist, you must have had a good conversation and interaction with the other party—-which quickly leads to some sort of false-relationship-start, even if not intended by one party.
So it’s true that women would have to deal with less heart breaks if men did not increasingly present their desire for only sex as a want for a fine relationship in which sex is only a part of the gains. And it’s also true that, most men wouldn’t get laid if they did not fine tune their desires to synchronise with the relationship expectations or wants of women.
With such a conundrum at the heart of the conversation, a man will certainty do what he feels will fetch him his desire—-and a woman must be excessively vigilant so to be able to weed out the gold coated speeches from the real gold.
In between the two struggles sits the few like Ms. Pyber Pebbles who say they wouldn’t mind being told the truth. However, no sane man is ready to risk a good chance at getting laid since these sort of people only exist in theoretical “parleys” like this.
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