“If wealth was the inevitable result of hard work and enterprise, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire”-George Monbiot.
If you’ve had to wake up in the sleeping hours of dawn to see Ghanaian women bearing a load meant for a dozen others, only then would you understand Monbiot’s statement. You dare not doubt the frog that comes to tell you that the crocodile is dead.
I have lived my entire life in Ghana so I have seen the struggles and insufferable ordeal these women go through. From the kayaye who straps her child at her back with basin well defined with goods of all kind to the woman who sits in the sun behind a flaming fire to roast maize and plantain to the woman whose only way of walking is running because she hawks pawpaw, nkatie burger, plantain chips and pure water in traffic—the lengths Ghanaian women go through to either aid with family expenses or take the full armour of a bread winner is limitless.
Since I have not had a first hand experience with other countries, I would subject them to extrapolation knowing that what happens in those country would be similar to that which happens in Ghana.
It is no different every year, a lot of concerns are raised with respect to how and why father’s day is not as popular as mother’s day.
The excitement and eagerness that is attached to mother’s day is no where near father’s day. Adverts are made weeks prior to the actual date, talk of the surprises, the dinners and the display of affection on social media.
I could actually count the number of my Facebook friends who uploaded their dad’s picture with beautiful caption but I dare not try to count on mother’s day. People go as far as ignoring you when you remind them father’s day is a week or two away; at worst they pretend the day doesn’t even exist.
The truth is when it is father’s day it is the floodgate of backlashes and reproaches being opened. Many have a few or more ill words to say to their father because they have been “irresponsible.”
According to Reverend Counselor Lutterodt, fathers are not celebrated because of the greediness, wickedness and cruelty that has made home in the hearts of many mothers. He is of the view that mothers do not tell their children what their fathers do for them hence they grow up with this indifferent and unappreciable attitude towards their fathers.
Maybe he is right, for a child would probably not know who is taking care of expenses but is the issue the same once she grows up? I see the struggles of my mother everyday, the sadness in her eyes and tiredness that had suddenly brought age upon her whilst my father sits somewhere to build an empire of excuse and you think my mother needs to even put in a word to destroy or taint the image of my dad to me?
No sane person would see fire and still insist on putting her hand in it. Why would any mother not want their husbands to cater for their children?
Women prefer being taken care of than striving to make ends meet. Counselor again mentioned that some women, the supposedly career women and feminist because of what they have achieved would not give a hoot should their husband decide not to take care of the kids and that certainly isn’t right.
He further said that if a couple married customarily through the right channels then such misbehaviour could be reported to the husband’s family. I disagree (and I do not even stand to be corrected nor convinced). On the basis of this analogy, I wake up each day and decide to neither eat nor drink when I very well know how dependant that is on my survival. Of what importance would complaining to someone be?
It is not like I do not know what I am risking. As a father, a sane human being for that matter, you know paternity comes with responsibilities and you decide against doing it. How would complaining to your ‘Abusuapanin’ change anything? You eat when you wake up so do you not know your child also need to eat?
I do not know how effective DOVVSU’s and what have you are but I think it mustn’t even get to that.
Once you decide to have sex, you might as well brace yourself because one baby may be in a rush to see the world.
It looks like fathers are inherently irresponsible yet they are all up in one’s face when children forget they have one. It is not the wish of any woman to want to get herself involved with such persons but life has a way of f**king us up.
There are still some better fathers out there, making paternity look desirable and even playing maternal roles. It is sad when you do not have the luxury of calling your father “your first love” because he certainly does not meet the criteria.
Whatever you do he would remain your father but I would not go about flaunting an irresponsible father’s picture on social media, neither will I use my limited airtime to call and ascribe to some hypocritical gestures and praises. It is like saying sorry when you are not even remorseful.
I share in Alexander Pope’s saying—praising the undeserved is a satire in disguise.

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