I never knew I had detecting tendencies ( I bet I could have convinced the BNI to have me on board that instant) until I saw my boyfriend in a compromising pose in a picture on Facebook. The hastiness I used to go through the lady`s profile cannot be measured.
My heart was literally fighting to be let out with a million thoughts running through my mind. Who the fuck is this lady and why in the devil’s name do they look that comfortable together?
I had died a billion deaths that very minute. And how many women have not done a similar thing or felt that rush of jealousy chill down their spine when they see their boyfriends with another lady?—well I do not know about the men but for we ladies it is a normal reaction.
Per definition, Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.
I was conversing with a couple of my friends on this very subject and I had diverse opinions.
“Jealousy is good and in fact healthy, it is an ideal partner retention strategy. It helps keep our partners because we become more receptive to the fact that there are threats(potential lovers) hence the need for one to be wary and appreciable of the relationship” one friend opined.
Another said “jealousy is a sign of weakness and mistrust. Why would you be jealous when you see your partner with someone if you trust them and you know they truly love you—perhaps you are cheating on their ass that is why you get unnecessarily jealous”.
“ A partner’s jealousy can be seen as a sign of love or affirmation of commitment. Personally I purposely make my guy jealous sometimes just to see his reaction. Although jealousy might remind our partner that they don’t want to lose us, in general jealousy seems to be bad for relationships as it almost always comes with squabbles and aggression which is not healthy. The thing is when we feel jealous we question the level of commitment in the relationship.” one female added.
Personally I think jealousy is of great paramountcy in every relationship. The feeling of knowing that someone is afraid to lose you (even if it is not actually true) is priceless. One who truly loves you is likely to feel a tad-bit of jealousy even when they trust you blindly.
At the back of all these, jealousy may become unhealthy.
It engulfs the whole mind, traps your spirit and bend you to its will. That is when you begin to see all that happens around you in distorted lens, great misconception is thus birthed.
Jealousy which is often triggered by meagre percentage of trust, at worst the absolute lack of trust. What can be said is to be vigilant when trusting but then again how vigilant can one be when the heart takes over?
Jealousy is like ego, too much just dents your whole image; just enough is right. Whether a sign of insecurity or the lack of confidence or otherwise, I would not want to share what I deem mine with anyone, even if no malice is intended by the intruder.