Abstinence is now becoming one of the “it” things in relationships now; its not necessary to look far with the likes of celebrities such as Ciara and Russell Wilson, and Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin being staunch suppporters of the ‘no sex before marriage’ crew.
On the other side are those who would negate this as a complete oxymoron- that sex is vital in a relationship, that it contributes significantly to the whole ‘getting to know your partner’ aspect of a relationship.
I’m one of those people who is neither here or there; kudos to those who can abstain until marriage, but also to those who decide to have sex before marriage, there shouldn’t be any shame- it comes down to personal preference.
Due to my position on this topic, imagine my shock when in a conversation with a friend, he was adamant that there was no point being in a relationship if sex wasn’t involved.
I know there are people out there who feel that the bedrock of a relationship is all about the physicality and intimacy, however I beg to differ. What about the dates? Exploring new things together, finding out interesting things about the other, the pending excitement of knowing you’ve fallen in love with a person’s persona and yet to come is the penultimate bonus of getting to explore them sexually- what about all of that?
As previously stated, I am neither here nor there BUT I do see the allure in getting to grips with personality, before getting to grips with anything else.
Suppose you meet somebody with the most amazing personality, all you want in a partner and more but the only downside is that they don’t want to engage in sex before marriage. Would you seriously let them go because of that? Would it not make you more determined to pursue the relationship- to know its not all about sex for the person? For me personally, I would feel kind of flattered.
There may be some that will say all they can about “a man/woman has needs”- true but just like sex doesn’t add any value to mortality, abstaining from sex until marriage isn’t the be all and end all, and I personally don’t feel it is enough to void a relationship.