“Do I wanna break up?” – Yes, you do! If you have to ask the Internet, you’re already past that point. Most relationships should end as soon as at least one of the partners realizes they’re leading to nowhere. If you spend more time talking about the relationship, especially problems, rather than enjoying it, it’s time to move on.
When a couple’s life turns into a dull routine or vice versa into non-stop fights, breaking up seems inevitable. But some people still can’t dare to get off the sinking ship. Believe me, you should leave when your inner voice tells you to. But what to do in case your inner voice is treacherously silent? How to find out that your “love” have no future anymore? Let’s try to figure that out together, considering eleven signs it’s definitely time to leave your relationship.
1. Abuse Is an Issue
Physical, verbal, emotional, or maybe drug and alcohol abuse – no matter what you mean. If it’s present in your relationship – it’s time to run! Abuse in any respect is the most evident sign. Don’t make a classic mistake: don’t be manipulated by those promises to change, begs for forgiveness, and 100 reasons why I love you. Of course, you have every right to forgive and forget the first incident, but don’t blame anyone else if she does it again. When you spend a lot of your time hoping that she will change for the better, it’s not going to happen, and it’s not going to work out. Stop trying to make it work.
2. Trust No Longer Exists
If you both don’t trust each other anymore, don’t share your innermost thoughts, it’s one of the biggest indicators you’ve strayed from the path. Lying is not normal for a healthy loving relationship. So, once you feel your partner is not completely honest with you, or if you can’t (don’t want to) be open, express ALL your thoughts and feelings, wishes and dreams… you’ll gradually become strangers from that point.
3. Cheating Is In Play – You Are Out
Cheating is always a bad sign, no matter if you’ve done it many times or made a mistake only once because you‘re unhappy in a relationship. Unless you have an agreement to be in an open relationship, cheating is unacceptable. You can learn to forgive each other, but if it happens again and again, you’re likely to fail all efforts to come back and start all over again. Through cheating, you can tell each other that this relationship is not enough for you.
Oh! By the way, if you’re emotionally cheating – that’s not good as well. It means you’re not completely satisfied with your current relationship and might be looking for a potential partner unconsciously. It’s a huge red flag, isn’t it?
4. You Have Become Too Different
Sometimes it happens that we can’t stay where we are anymore, and a great time of changes comes. It’s naturally as we become older, wiser, meet different people, have new experiences and all that influences our personalities a lot: interests change, goals change, values and beliefs change, and people begin to want to take a different path in life. In such case, it’s nobody’s fault you’ve grown apart – it just happens, especially in a long-term relationship.
When neither of you feels the same way about each other, when the idea of hanging out together is mehhh, and you’re just bored, put up you’re not on the same wavelength as you used to be, it’s time to let go of each other and follow your own way.
5. Lack of Mutual Respect
You can’t consider your relationship as a healthy one if you regularly feel like your partner talks down to you, makes a fool of you for the sake of laughter, and puts herself and her desires above your wishes and interests. Persistent “I”, “me”, “my”, “you must do it for me” are warning signs she uses you, allowing to love herself until she’s comfortable with it. Hello, man! You can’t be treated like that!
6. Constant Miscommunication
Either sitting in the same room or being at a distance, wherever you are, you almost don’t speak to each other. You both have own plans not only for the future, but also for the nearest weekend. Spending time together is uninteresting, too mundane, and there’s nothing to talk about. Is it about your couple? If yes, maybe it has to be stopped?
When was the last time you expressed yourself? Or listened to her? Bad communication turns little issues into huge arguments that could have been avoided and pushes you further apart. If your communication has broken down, your relationship is already over too.
7. You Are the Only Who Does
If one of you is always making sacrifices, justifying that it’s worth holding on, while another puts no efforts at all if the give-and-take is really skewed and one is doing all the giving, and other – all the taking, complaining it’s still not enough. If the partner holds you back, hence preventing you from growing as an individual. If so, your relationship is too unbalanced and ego based and it’s a vivid sign of the need to break up.
8. For the Sake of Sex
Nothing good will ever come out from the relationship which is only physical. If sex is pretty much the only thing going right with you two, it’s definitely time to change everything.
9. A Dead Sex Life
Of course, if you have been together for several years, it’s somewhat naive to expect a passionate fervor of the first dates and sex several times a day from each other. An unrestrained drive is replaced by harmony, warmth, and tenderness over time. Work stress, fatigue, and poor health influence your schedule of intimate meetings inevitably, but the conscious avoidance of intimacy is something absolutely different. If you notice that you’re constantly coming up with excuses not to have sex with your partner, this is a fairly serious sign.
10. You Are Fighting Over Everything
No exaggeration – over everything, just like in soap operas. This issue is especially important if the reasons for arguments are things you used to take easier. If every little thing becomes a cause for conflict, and you’re annoyed with everything – from her habit of singing in the shower (which used to be so sweet before) to her walk, you should ask yourself what’s going on. If your permanent resentment has nothing to do with external factors like financial difficulties or work tension, don’t ignore it. Maybe, those small quarrels are only the tip of the iceberg, and the best way out of this crisis is breaking up.
11. You Can’t See the Future with Her
Even during the most difficult times and moments of the hottest arguments, awareness of a shared goal becomes the life-saving circle for lovers. But if you can’t picture the future with your partner, can’t even think about the idea of marrying her and having children, if you live in past memories more than the present and are freaked out whenever she mentions the wedding, man… stop it right now!
These are the most significant signs your relationship is not gonna work out, so if you have at least one of them, think it over. Don’t shoot from the hip, but love yourself, and don’t waste your life being with a person, who is not meant for you.