The principal problem with a lot of Ghanaian men and women, mostly unintelligent, when it comes to relationships is that they run with a lot of false theories, assumptions and hold on to several judgemental bronze age dogmas.
Their idea of a perfect man or woman is defined by philosophies they cannot understand or explain–if not by academic theories imported on whole sale without contextual relevance. They are deeply judgemental and wouldn’t take time to get to know someone themselves before forming robust opinions about them.
For instance, everyone who gets to know me beyond my often offensive online writings, a path I have consciously taken because of the population I deal with, soon comes to say; you are completely different to whatever I envisaged about you.
That’s the Ghanaian: they judge before they analyse or get to have a clear picture.
Imagine what would have happened if the woman I married took me to completely and solely stand for a “shallow gossip writing Chris-Vincent” who mostly gets people enraged with his brutal honest writings—there’s a much-cherished layer to a lot of people when it comes to relationships.
When most people get to know I am a “legal polymath” and I hold two Masters degrees in Law from respected UK institutions, they get shocked. Why? Because, they’ve from a distance, formed absolute beliefs about me without any room for error.
Many Ghanaian women are all about money, fame and whatever when it comes to relationships, we mostly claim. Let’s not forget that the men ride on warped notions such as a woman at a certain age has problems if she is single, I’ve heard enough of this.
I’ve dated women who were 10, 8, 6 and 4 years older than me and they did not have any problems unique to their ages—some of them were even younger in their worldview and thinking than me on a number of issues.
Our approach to relationships in Ghana is what causes a lot of our relationship issues: we are not fluid in our thoughts and ideas, we are mostly rigged, uncompromising and unprepared to evaluate an option before coming to a conclusion.
A lot of women on social media are single and perhaps “sad” about this but are so scared to make a move to change this position using the virtual world or associates because of the hovering judgement and when some boldly do it, the judgement floods in.
The era of picking partners off the streets is gradually disappearing. It has long vanished in the West and it will take the same shape in Ghana too. Therefore, allow those who want to grab whatever opportunity is available to them to find love to do so.
I know several female Ghanaian Celebrities who are single and are seriously looking for single men–but where do they start from? The culture of judging from afar has crippled their options.
You have no idea the number of guys who respond to every post I make on social media about a woman looking for a man. Why are all these guys single too? Employing the Ghanaian logic; they all have problems—right?
In 2017 alone, I paired over 100 Ghanaians up on social media–and some have even set wedding dates to take their relationship to the next stage.
We need to change how we come to make absolute statements in life: by first allowing ourselves to develop analytical skills, a defect of the Ghanaian educational system.
Beware of dogs cannot be best interpreted as everyone is a dog. But to a lot of Ghanaians, it probably means so…