Several of my random social media Ghanaian female friends are hustling and I am not talking about those squeezing themselves to enjoy Ubers which have become luxury even when they cannot afford it.
I am talking about those looking for jobs without no sign of finding one, those whose rents are due and about to be thrown out by their landlords, those who have to eat once a day because that’s all they can afford—and those who cannot see an end to their problems even if hope is injected into the conversation.
It’s hopeless for a lot of people in Ghana and worse, the women.
What I find interesting, perhaps worrying, is the fact a lot of these women hustling to keep body and soul together have men who are doing really well but these men seem not to even consider throwing some cushion underneath the women they sleep with or want to suck their d*cks.
As Christopher Hitchens argued, the solution to eradicating poverty in the world is empowering women and I do not mean the pepper dem nonsense, but by making women self-sufficient and giving them the opportunities needed to make themselves better.
Even within my circle of Ghanaian friends, I can say a lot of men are failing to do better by their women.
I don’t see what’s s*xy or attractive about f*cking a woman who is in a perpetual hustle for the basics of life when you have more than enough and could help but refuse to do so.
Over the years, I’ve come to accept, albeit disappointingly, that a large proportion of Ghanaian men hate to throw support to women they meet—to help elevate them, and in fact make them what they desire.
Somehow, when you pull strings through your teeth to make your woman better, they suddenly begin to admire and yearn for her.
A lot of Ghanaian men seem to live in a culture of reaping where they did not sow. It has become so widespread to meet men who are doing extremely well for themselves—and these men will be sleeping with women living as though they are destitute. The men will be comfortable with handing out a few hundred cedis each time they meet their supposed “lovers.”
Perhaps, it’s an ego thing: the men do not want to help the women to become a better version of themselves over fears that they will be jilted at the end of it.
I have had several conversations in the last few weeks with many of my female friends on Facebook and a lot of them are in despair, due to the fact that their hustles are not paying off.
Almost all of them have boyfriends or partners who are said to be doing well. But have refused to help them gravitate towards their life goals.
One of them, Adwoa said: “Chris, the truth is I have a boyfriend but he is not interested in helping me. I feel trapped. Sometimes even money to buy sanitary pads as a woman becomes a problem. I feel shy about telling you this but that is the truth.”
I do not understand what people call relationship these days. Apart from s*x, there seems to be nothing worthy of pursuit in our notion of contemporary relationships. Men just want to f*ck unliberated women, and therefore take delight in crippling them by omitting to help them find their feet. This way the women will be hooked to them in perpetuity without ever contemplating of leaving, no matter what’s being served.
During my unsettling relationships period, including my undergraduate “hanky panky” days, I cultivated the virtue, possibly the fetish, of wanting to leave a hole in the lives of those I dated anytime I had to walk away. And therefore, I made conscious efforts to change the lives of those I dated, for good, even if little—to ensure that I leave an indelible mark that will torment their conscience forever when it is all over. That would have been somewhat sinister if I started relationships intending to leave. I never wanted to leave but shit happens.
Even with the overwhelming possibility of shit happening, I found and still do find it s*xy and manly, to invest in my women—make them better than I met them. But it seems, such actions or motives are largely unpopular with our new age of selfish men.
The last time I was in Ghana, one of my friends gave a beautiful young girl a lift. I was in the car and the three of us started a conversation—in an attempt to get to know the strange girl my friend was interested in it.
Despite being beautiful, it soon became apparent that she was a real hustler. The car couldn’t even go to where she lived with her family—it is that bad. After we dropped her and the coochie was undoubtedly set for my friend, I told him if he is just going to have s*x with this girl without elevating her from what we’ve just witnessed, then that would amount to sheer wickedness.
Suddenly, my friend who was talking about picking her up that evening to his place lost interest because I insisted he shouldn’t just remove her panties and shoot his cum all over her face but to also become human by helping the poor girl out of her obvious desolation.
The female hustle in Ghana is an epidemic worth attention or conversation.
As a man, I believe a lot of us Ghanaian men can do better by the side of our women—including those we just lust after. There’s nothing more satisfying than f*cking a liberated empowered woman out of her own will—and not the one who just wants you to quickly cum so you will hand to her some few cedi notes.
There’s nothing more fulfilling than picking someone from where they sit despondently and unexpectedly catapult them to a height they only saw in their dreams. That’s what we call love.
If anyone of the women I dated is reading this, I hope you smile to yourself in light of the stated truth.
Share with me your experience with Ghanaian men—or even women in relation to this.