If you’re in Ghana and haven’t heard of SM or Shatta Movement, kindly mention your name and location so we can campaign for you to be the next president of the Cave Dwellers Association. Shatta Wale or Gbee Naabu as he is affectionately called is the leader of this movement, which is basically a bunch of social outcasts who hail him as some kind of demi-god who can do no wrong despite all the times without number he has proven beyond doubt that he is actually in dire need of rehabilitation. In spite of the mental issues, Gbee Nabu remains one of the biggest artists in Ghana at the moment signed to Zylofon Music and is set to release his sophomore album “The Reign” album this October.
As expected of loyal fans, the Shatta Movement soldiers are out of the woodworks and on social media doing what they do best, blindly supporting the shenanigans of their idol, who they like to call “Daddy” even though he’s the last choice of a father figure for any responsible adult. But then again, SM and “responsible” in the same sentence is nothing short of an oxymoron. So how do you identify an SM fan? Here we go.
- Any SM fan worth his or her salt should by now have The Reign album logo on their profile. If you see the picture above on anyone’s profile, know that the SM is strong in that one. And please please do NOT as much as mention “Stone” or “Bwoy” anywhere near such a person if you do not wish to get entangled in any retarded online debate that is likely to cost you a few brain cells because
- SM fans are not particularly renowned for their intellect. Take any random guy on social media spewing indecipherable gibberish on any topic, do a little research and you’ll find out Opana is a strong SM soldier. This doesn’t necessarily anything to do with their educational background. Most of these guys just lack any form of mental fortitude, which brings us to the next point.
- 98% of Shatta Movement fans are school dropouts. According to statistics and hard-core evidence, SM fans are mostly JHS and SHS dropouts. An SM fan with any kind of degree is indeed a very rare gem. No arguments there.
- Most SM fans have no home-training. This is a fact. Take another random guy who’s every action reeks of a person who never had someone to call “Daddy”, brace yourself and say something like “Stonebwoy is the best dancehall artiste in Ghana” and watch the SM madness wash over you like the rains that allegedly drowned the earth in Biblical times, a la Noah. The good thing is that the worst they might say to you is “your morda”, which no rational, healthy-minded person should get offended by.
- SM fans bleed tramadol and weed. No debate here. Shatta Wale is like the face of drug addicts in Ghana so it stands to reason that his fans are on that same trajectory. Notice how silent Gbee Naabu has been on the whole “End Tramadol Abuse” campaign? Yup, he wouldn’t want to offend his drug-loving angels who applaud his drug-induced tomfoolery no matter how absurd it gets. Like “Daddy”, like children, right?
- SM fans are the most loyal bunch of people you would ever find in any fandom. You need to give them this much. SM fans are loyal to the grave. It doesn’t matter what their demi-god does. Anything Gbee Naabu does is gospel in their eyes. They’ll break your bones for speaking the truth about a guy they might never meet in the name of loyalty. They will force themselves into enjoying any senseless song he releases, they’ll spend their hard-earned cash on SM paraphernalia, go for every single Shatta Wale show and even tattoo 4LyfIs4Lyf of their foreheads. Anything for Daddy Shatta.
There might be some other “redeeming” qualities of our dear SM fans that might not be so common, so feel free to share yours if you disagree.