CHRIS-VINCENT Writes: Men — Our Increasing Stupidity


The women have become talkers—I guess it has always been so.

Now, a new layer of invasion of privacy, one that shocks the core of people’s lives has been added and it’s called screenshot taking.

A friend of mine, an honest man, got the shock of his life yesterday when a lady he is getting to know mistakenly sent screenshots of their chats to himself. About 5 screenshots of different parts of their chats—intended to be delivered to her friend came straight to him.

My friend, totally perplexed, asked me what I think was going on.

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I told him this: there is no sense of privacy amongst our generation and it’s no more unconscionable for a person to violate such standard expectations of a party she is dealing with.

The notion of mutual trust and confidence, a virtue that once robustly guarded communications and relationships means nothing to a lot of people, especially, the new bimbos of social media.

I don’t find it out of place that it happened, I told him—because that’s what a lot of the women have become. People say they need evidence—we can’t even trust ourselves and words do not mean anything anymore to those who put them across.

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Honest conversations have to be restrained. You cannot really say what you think or feel anymore. Even if they don’t get to unintended parties, a man needs to be extra careful, in all his actions because years down the line what you deemed as appropriate or something guided by the tenets of privacy and was indeed appropriate could become the cornerstone of your downfall with the swift changing perspective of society on what’s acceptable and not.

We have become so much politically correct inclined, and less human these days. You get confused as to how to even call a woman you don’t know much, what conversations are permitted and what are not—which sort of help is innocuous and not.

The subtle drama is self-defeating and chaotic. No one cares about the nuances of a conversation or the context.

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We have become our own witches.

You have to actually live on eggshells if you want your sanity undisturbed. But that’s not living: the pressure to always get it right consumes your total existence and the fun path we take.

A good friend once said: don’t eat with the dogs—in whatever cause of your dealings in life, make sure the other party has much to lose today and in the future as you.

Everyone needs to be careful because we have become a population of scavengers and we are unapologetic about it. Perhaps, we are emotional vampires too.

I vividly remember the days of MSN Messenger, AOL Chat, Yahoo Chat, Ghana.Co.UK, ClubGH, GhanaLounge and others. We would hold hours of conversations, from ASL to BRB, with total strangers, and be unworried about screenshots or the honesty of the other person behind the computer. It was a free online world of sincerity, pure voices and ideas.

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Today, we’ve traded our ability to have whatever conversations for wearing a shield of protection against our own words and the unascertained Intentions of other parties.

Soon, a movement called #HeSaidSo will probably take over our social media space so everyone needs to remain mute, to make it to the other side.

Men should at least restrain our own stupidity for the better good of our future sanity—because many of the persons on the other side of the phones are emotionally fickle.

—Chris-Vincent Agyapong


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