CHRIS-VINCENT Writes: The Relationship Expectations Against the Realities of Life


As we journey through life, everyone has a right to have preferences and expectations—but a lot of people are unable to distinguish between idealism and realism. Patapaa is struggling with this same conundrum.

I am not using Idealism and Realism in their philosophical sense, but I am invoking their ordinary meanings—where idealism encompasses elements of utopianism or perfection.

People hold sensitivities built on the notion of perfection. Men are culprits but women seem to be the champions when it comes to this in reference to relationships. They want a fine man who is educated, rich and everything they can think about.

Their expectations are overboard. And that’s not even the biggest problem—after all, people can expect whatever in life.
The problem is the true relationship between what they expect and what they are offering.

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During a recent conversation with a single female friend, she said she wanted me to hook her up to one of my millionaire friends. She wants a rich man to date or marry. That’s fine.
I asked her this: don’t you think my rich friends will also want to be with rich women? You are broke, and you want a rich man. Why do you think any rich man would want to be with a broke girl? You are not in their league.

She looked at me confused.

A lot of people are offering empty boxes, and they want to exchange those for boxes full of gold and diamonds on the back of the love delusion. You can’t afford to go to Dubai or Barcelona—yet you want a man who will take you there.

I’ve no problem with people aiming high. After all, the alternative is to aim low, below people’s stinking butt. But before you go out there seeking for what’s out of your league, why don’t you change your league?

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A lot of women have told me they want to date lawyers, doctors and folks with master’s degrees or PhDs. That’s all good and a lot of people out there fall within these categories. However, if PhD is that important to you, then why don’t you get one yourself—and then use it to attract a person with the same?

The relationship pool has become freaking sticky, almost like jumping into an Uber pool on a wet day.

Several relationships lack proper conversations because the actors in there are intellectually far apart, and do not even have anything in common except the occasional pursuit of orgasm.

Life is real, our abstract deductions and fantasies do not mostly translate into reality. When forced, it eventually breaks into two (Kumi Guitar).

I hate the traditional sense of elitism, class or any form of apartheid. But we should not forget that sometimes it’s more joyous to stay in your lane than to be racing your defective scooter with a Ferrari.

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And let me not forget those who think they can fake it until they make it. Those are the most pathetic of all. It’s good to belong but don’t kill yourself to belong when you don’t.

Instagram, SnapChat and Facebook are free apps, everyone can live a lie on there. Real life is expensive and if you try to live a lie for a long time, you end up with depression, like Efia Odo.

You can have expectations but keep them within the borders of reality.


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