One of the leading causes of breaking marriages is ‘over expectation’, thus when couples are unable to get what they expected in their partners. This normally happens when the man’s expectations from the wife are too high and refuse to understand that his wife is not an angel but just a human being who was brought up by different parents.
However, one of Ghana’s finest marriage counsellors, Counsellor Adofoli is on the way of trying to his best to lecture men who think their wives are finished products. According to the marriage counsellor, married couples, most especially men, should not expect angelic character from their wives because doing so may at the end bring disappointment.
He added that as a man, it’s your responsibility to train your wife to become that finished product you always wanted. Your wife will never know everything about you so by teaching and guiding her, gradually she will know you like and want.
READ FULL MESSAGE HERE:
WE DON’T MARRY A FINISHED PRODUCT
Written by Counselor Adofoli
The woman you got married to is a raw material and not finished product as many men think or believe. Your wife does not know everything about you or everything you want and like. It is your job as a man to turn this raw material into the finished product you want. If she is not educated to the level you want your wife to be, send her to school.
If your mother’s food does the magic for you but your wife cannot cook the same way or same food your mother does, send her to your mother to teach her how to cook that favourite food.
If she can’t do laundry the way you want, it is your responsibility to teach her. Don’t expect your wife to be a magician who can do everything you wish for. Your forefathers’ definition of a good wife, is not the true definition of who a true wife is.
She is not a nanny or maid you hired and gets paid for duties at home. Your wife is your equal working partner. Someone who is there to help you, not your worker. Men need to update that old software.
There is nowhere in the bible, which documents the history of creation, that a woman’s role is cooking or cleaning. Men were also cooking in the Bible, a classic example is the story, Jacob and Esau.
It is sad men throw good women away because of misunderstanding and the outmoded software they inherited from their great grandparents who married on roles and not how the Creator intended it to be.
Until a man is mature, wise and good to know the woman he married is raw material and he can turn them into the finished product he wants, they will always end up throwing good women away. Why should the clothes of a woman become more important to a man than the woman he married?
Many husbands have left their wives for different women because of how their wives dressed. Meanwhile, they didn’t marry their dressing but something more important than the dressing.
What those husbands lack was the wisdom of taking this old fashion woman to the modern fashion expert to glow and change their wardrobe to become the ‘updated’ woman they want. For the woman they got married to was raw material.
Our trouble as men did not start today; it existed from the days of Adam. When God warned Adam about the forbidden fruit and expected him to educate the wife, Adam didn’t do that, which led to the wife listening to the serpent. She ate the forbidden fruit, gave Adam to eat and even at that time, Adam lacked the wisdom to ask where she got the fruit from but went ahead and ate.
Adding insult to injury, he later blamed the wife for his lack of wisdom. He had forgotten that when God gave him the warning, he was not married by then. Getting married to a man who cannot teach leads to suffer.
Today, a man who lacks the wisdom to teach the wife what he needs blames the woman for being a bad woman. Ladies, please go for a man who is a teacher, for such a person won’t blame you for his woes.
A man suffering from a deficiency of wisdom is the one who calls the wife bad luck. Ladies, don’t marry a fool. For he will frustrate you.
In conclusion “The wise man is glad to be instructed, but a self-sufficient fool falls flat on his face” – Proverbs 10:8 (TLB).