Human beings are social animals, no question about that. Marriage, relationships and family are important social structures put in place all to help in the most important function of any living thing – which is the perpetuation of the species.
However, whilst these things are important, they don’t necessarily have to be the end goal of life. Especially when you consider that the fact you aren’t married by 30 or even 40 does not mean you’re not ever going to get married.
Yet in our society many people, especially ladies, put undue pressure on themselves to get married, settle down and have kids, all to be done before a certain age. To an extent, external societal pressure plays into it but there’s no reason to take actions solely to make others happy and then when it doesn’t happen, it leads to depression and other consequences.
Founding Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com, Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, has written on this phenomenon, on the back of a story about a lady committing suicide because she couldn’t find love and get married by age 30.
Read Chris’ thoughts below…
The women problem—largely, perpetuated by stupid women.
You do not mostly get a man asking you when will you get married or when will you have children—it’s almost always women, asking these questions.
Recently, one of my friends on Facebook called me in tears. Because she was pregnant and the man she is pregnant for had refused to go ahead with their planned marriage.
She was devastated. She was ready to borrow money to give to this man to just marry her even though the man had not only expressly said he does not want to marry her, he also had said he does not want to be with her at all.
Yet, she wanted the man to marry her so badly—because her angry parents have said a pregnancy out of wedlock brings disgrace and curse to the family. In fact, they had asked her to leave for their village so that no one would see her wandering around in the city with pregnancy when she is not married.
There is more to life. Marriage, Children, Money, Good Sex and others are important in life but should not be the ultimate for every persons. Would you kill your self because you are not where you have to be on the financial ladder or the orgasm ladder?
Society has its own inherent pressures, made worse by some people who go about asking others: when will you marry or when will you do this and that?
You have your life to live. Live it however you want it and leave others to live theirs however they want. If marriage or children at a point in life is so important to you, why don’t you marry 20 husbands and have 30 children all by yourself?
Now this young woman is dead because somehow she thought she was not worthy at 30, as she was not married and had no children.
This problem is ubiquitous but worse in Africa for black women.