In the wake of the Becca and her mother’s unfortunate relationship troubles, I am calling on everyone to share their stories about their mothers—either dead or alive. And I am starting it, with my own story.
I clash a lot with my mother. In fact, I find her super annoying but her love for me, and mine for her is priceless.
My mother is highly religious—she is a missionary with the Church of Pentecost and one of the church’s respected women’s leaders. I am a loud atheist who regularly offends the faithful.
Now, just from the above, you can imagine the sort of clash I would regularly have with my mother. But I always remain respectful to her—and on most occasions, I would even attend church with her when I am with her.
It is always like this whenever I have not been able to avoid being with her on a Sunday. She would wake up in the morning and shout; today, we are going to church together as a family.
When this is said, I am always left with two real options—either to state to her there’s no God so I will not go to church and engage a 50-something-year-old conservative woman in a series of metaphysis arguments she would not understand, which will lead to a huge ‘brawl’ all day or just wear a nice shirt and spend just 2 hours with her in church, an enterprise that would bring her great joy and would not affect me or my philosophical stance in anyway? As a reasonable man, I go for the latter and it has always worked.
I said she is annoying right? She knows I do not believe in God but she does not give up—always trying her luck. I understand she is concerned about me going to hell, a place I believe is a myth but she believes it is real. Beyond the religious difference, I also know that there is this general gap between us—which influences how differently we see things.
Despite our differences and whatever fights, I love her. I do not only love her, I respect her so much such that my friends, wife or acquaintances all do.
The way you treat your mother is how another person, be it a wife or husband will treat her.
Let me chip in something amazing that happened about a year ago.
I visited Ghana and I was with one of my millionaire friends. We went for an event and suddenly my friend said: Chris, since we are not far from where Mum lives, why don’t we go and see her and spend the rest of the day with her.
When we got there and my friend saw the beautiful new house I had built for my mother, he stretched his hand to shake mine—stating that, I am even more proud of you today and respect you more for where your mother lives.
The moment we sat down, my mother asked my friend to join her to Thank me for the wonderful place I have built for her, in her name, to live. She sounds like a broken record, always thanking me for the house.
My friend told her that while he was aware that I had built her a place, he didn’t expect it to be this nice and expensive. Because a lot of people live at good places and they leave their parents living like beggars.
Out of nowhere, my friend told my mother that with his sort of house, a modern befitting car is needed to make it complete so he will buy her a car. My mother probably thought it was just a mere comment.
Less than 3 weeks later and when I had returned to the UK, my mother called me out of the blue that my friend has asked her to come and pick a car up—as he promised.
My mother does not drive so she got herself a driver. And when she got there, it was a new Tundra. My friend has ‘gifted’ it to her—just like that. In addition, he has set up a monthly payment to her, for her upkeep.
My mother couldn’t believe it and she does not believe it.
If I had badmouthed my mother to my friend or my friend did not see how much she means to me, do you think he would be this generous and respectful to her?
Just last week, Mama Tundra, that’s how I now call my mother—called me to say she needs money for fuel else “I will be Mama no car for a week”, she said. I asked her what happened to the monthly allowance I send her and that of which my friend gives her. She said she went to a funeral and “blah blah”.
Beyond our support, my mother is financially okay on her own as she has a business, and she can buy her own fuel but she was just being a mother—annoying. I asked her how much she wants and she said ‘100’ cedis to add to her money to buy a full tank. So I said: seriously, you called me for 100 cedis—how much is this call costing you?
And guess what she said. “If you don’t send me the money I will walk to church coming this Sunday as I cannot pay for fuel and when people ask that Mama Tundra what happened to your car—I will say, my son didn’t give me money to buy fuel.”
She added: “even this big car is making me spend more money. Because of this car, everyone thinks I am rich and at church, I have to give more money now. People are always coming to ask for loans from me all the time.”
I said that’s silly—bye-bye.
In this world, no matter what, your mother is your mother. It’s absurd to see people who talk to their mothers or who are taking care of their mothers supporting Becca or defending her nonsense. How do you allow someone who treats her mother with respect to tell you to disrespect yours?
Don’t ever treat your mother like trash—even if she acts like one.
Now, share your story with your mother—with me, using the comment box.