Parents all over the world have reservations about who their children choose to marry, but when their unhappiness stems from the prospective in-law’s race rather than any behavioural traits then it’s kind of disturbing.
Yet that’s seemingly what happened to a Chinese guy, Clarence Tan, who decided to marry a Ghanaian girl and found himself in trouble with his parents.
Tan revealed that when he announced to his parents that he is planning to marry his Ghanaian girlfriend, Edna Sophia, they were far from thrilled.
According to him, his father especially was very unhappy with his choice and made sure to show his disapproval anytime Edna came over.
Tan, however, hatched a plan to make his parents like his fiancee and in the end, they warmed up to her and gave their blessing to the marriage.
He recounted how he did it in a post on social media. He wrote…
“As you can imagine, dating a black/African woman isn’t always welcomed with open arms in Chinese/Asian culture. And sure enough, when I started dating Edna, I had kickback from my parents— especially from my dad.
“My dad is a great father and I respect him a lot. He has incredible work ethic, sacrificed a lot to provide for us, and always puts our family first— I attribute most of who I am today to the example he set. So it was extremely upsetting when he told me he didn’t approve of Edna,”
According to Tan, his father gave two reasons for his disapproval;
1. Having different cultures will be “bad for marriage” and cause them to encounter a lot of difficulties in life.
2. It would be challenging for Clarence to set up a business in Asia.
He continued: “I started bringing her home to see my parents every now and then, which was extremely challenging for both Edna and parents (mostly dad). Dad would have this weird look of disapproval while still trying to be polite when greeting her and acknowledging her presence. At the same time, it was unbearable for Edna as she could feel like she wasn’t welcomed.”
He added that they continued disapproving of her until they learned through awkward conversations with her all that she had done for their son.
“They learned about her spending most of her free time working on building my company (now our company, obviously), as well as her financially supporting me at times. I had purposely kept it silent as it was embarrassing— but they eventually found out that it was their son who lucked out.
“After three years of dating, we finally tied the knot with my family’s full support— especially my dad’s. I’ve personally never seen him happier than on my wedding day. He had the widest smile I’ve ever seen when Edna said ‘Daddy, yum cha’ during the tea ceremony, and he even played saxophone for our mother and son dance.
“It was difficult but 100% worth— since she’s the one.”