I am a Chinese food lover like most Africans. I have eaten Chinese foods in Copenhagen, have sat in a stylish fish-tank floor Chinese restaurant near Paris’ Avenue des Champs-Élysées for lunch—I am a regular at various London’s China Town restaurants, I have struggled with language to order Chinese food in Kyiv, and I have even traveled to Shanghai, a city that offers authentic feel and taste of Chinese foods to enjoy some of the better-known delicacies of Chinese cuisine–such as frog legs and a spicy hot pot of pig brains.

Despite my lasting love for Chinese cuisine which regularly leads me to flirt with Chinese buffets and à la carte restaurants wherever I find myself, I have never been shocked by the portion of food served by any restaurant except at Ghana’s Noble House.

A huge portion of rice or noodles without any character thrown into plates and put before you is a sin—let’s say such an attempt to get you to sin if you have not developed good Chinese taste buds shouldn’t be allowed.

Chinese foods shouldn’t be this unappetising, offensively cheap in taste, plenty, and served without any character as done at Noble House. And if all you have ever eaten in your life is Noble House’s Chinese food, you probably wrongly think the taste acquired is authentic. Hell no—Chinese foods don’t taste anywhere close to that which Noble House offers.

But Noble House may have a target market: those who want to spend less for more and even be able to pack some away for the next day. That’s a majority of the Ghanaian population—and authentic taste wouldn’t be much of a headache to these people.

Noble House is positioning itself as the restaurant for an average Ghanaian family when such a family occasionally ditches the conventional daily “home choe” for a taste of something from a decent restaurant.

An order of a plate of fried rice or noodles will be enough to feed 4 heavy eaters—therefore if you like to try various dishes per a sit-down, you would need an army of gluttons to assist you.

This is because if you order more than one plate of its main rice and noddles dishes, you wouldn’t be able to finish a quarter of it on your own—so imagine what would happen if you order some fried rice, noddles, some shrimp or beef sauce and some spare ribs at the same sitting?

Nevertheless, the Noble House restaurant chain in Ghana provides a comfortable restaurant ambiance—they offer a standard set up with air conditioning and have capacities to prepare common cocktails as found on their menu. Anything non-common, then you are calling for a heartbreak.

For the people that Noble House targets, they surely wouldn’t have the specialised Chinese taste buds which true Chinese food lovers may have developed over time—making it easy for them to determine what is authentically Chinese and what is a wannabe Chinese food.

For the price a plate costs at Noble House and the huge portions generously dished out—you will be foolish to expect anything more than a fast combination of some spices and starch for your stomach or a quick frying of some frozen spring rolls, pork, and dim sums.

And that rubber-like Singapore-style noodles scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it.

Noble House also offers Indian Cuisine. You must be extensively daring to order anything from that section of the menu.

In Ghana, Noble House has branches at Osu, Tesano, East Legon, Spintex, Tema and Kumasi—I have visited the Osu, East Legon, and Spintex branches.