Desperate times calls for desperate measures …. So goes the ‘suicide’ statement. Desperation pushes people to do the unthinkable. When desperate for the latest ‘thing’ in town – you either steal or lie to get it therefore you lose the trust of people or put a big question mark on your integrity.
Desperation becomes extremely dangerous when ‘your eye red’ for something and until you get it, manipulations and sometimes acts of wickedness sets in. We get high on it and when we finally get what we want, we just drop it because we really didn’t ‘need’ or were not ready for what we were desperately seeking for in the first place. If you also succumb to the desperate ways of someone, you also burn in the process.
What I see in people (clamouring for marriage) these days is actually desperation and not readiness for marriage per se. They start acting out of the ordinary. They ‘borrow’ some virtues which were never found/seen in them initially. It’s not that they changed to become the ‘desirable person’ he/she wanted now, but they need those ‘virtues’ for a purpose and when it’s done, they give it back (like borrowing a book and returning it). When a person shows/tells you who they are the first time, believe them because that is who/what they are, anything else you see when they start mounting pressure on you for one thing or the other is ‘acquired’ which is easily disposed.
When someone says ‘I don’t know how I ended up with her/him’, you know desperation was the determining factor and the foundation on which the marriage was ‘formed’. It was a fleeting moment of self-gratification – the foundation was faulty, so the whole building came crashing down; severely non-repairable. Those who are ready for any worthwhile venture (in life) understand the importance of taking every day as it comes; they are people who move/moved into a new phase with ease without being pressured, cajoled or pressing on someone to do what they’re not ready for.
That is one main reason I don’t advocate for long period of courtship/dating, the longer it takes, the more it makes one person extremely desperate for the relationship to move further than what they want or where they are. They don’t even think through if they really want to be with the person – long term. Desperation does not mean readiness or someone desperately wanting you does not mean they’re crazily in love/love you too much.
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