Kwame A Plus Writes – The Youth of Today Must Change their Attitudes If They Are to Become Better Leaders Than the Hopeless One We Currently Have

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Musician/political activist A Plus writes… Those of us calling for the youth to take over must not pretend the youth have not had multiple opportunities to be part of governance in Ghana. Young people over the years have played significant roles in every government. The old men and women you see today were the same … Read more

My Amazing New ‘Starchy’ Balloon

A-Plus Corner
A-Plus Corner

When I was 10 years I sat the common entrance exams. By the grace of God and my brilliance I passed with better grades than my big sister. I know Japhlet won’t be happy about this but that is the fact.

On the 16th of September 1987, I was admitted to Nkwetia Secondary School making me the youngest person ever to be admitted to the school.

Even though the boarding house was a whole new experience, I gradually found myself loving it. Because Nkwetia is on the Kwahu mountains, it gets very cold most part of the year, waking up at dawn to fetch water for the school kitchen is something I never got used to.

Some names of mates and seniors would live with me forever; Akuffo Anthony, Charles Toronto, ɔtopitii, Dannis Adu Gyane (my cousin) and Edward Ansong-the second youngest (11 years) who wet his bed every night, just to mention a few are  the guys I remember like it was yesterday.

One Saturday day as I walked to grounds work (cleaning up the schools campus) from my dormitory, I found a balloon on the ground and picked it up. It was so beautiful as it took the shape of a banana.

In fact it was the strongest balloon I had ever seen. I stretched it to about a yard but showed no signs of reaching its elastic limit. The only problem I had with my amazing new balloon was that it had some starch in it. I wondered why such a nice balloon will have starch in it.

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Why I Broke-Up With Yvonne Nelson

A-Plus Corner
A-Plus Corner

I frequently visit a hotel in Accra to do my nocturnal things. As a grandson of Opanyin Kweku Duku, a man who married 18 wives and gave birth to 35 kids, going to places with women to do my thing should not come as a surprise to you. My DNA is always h*rny.

One day as I walked into the reception with my new catch Yvonne Nelson, I saw this very beautiful lady whose beauty dropped my jaw and made my pendulum swing profusely in the metropolitan area of my boxers.

This infuriated Yvonne Nelson so much that she gave me a very dirty slap which did not only shrink my pendulum but also made me see stars with my naked eye. To be honest I saw stars so close that the closest star to earth, Proxima Centaur, was just a yard away. If this is the same slap Sulley Muntari gave Moses Parker, then I think Sulley must be charged with crime against humanity by the ICC.

Apart from the thunderous slap,  Yvonne Nelson threatened to leave after a long night of eating and drinking on my pocket. This left me wondering what I was going to do with the Alomo bitters in my waist if I spent the night alone. I immediately considered mast**bation. I know how to do it. It’s nice sometimes but you will go blind one day charley. It will affect your eyes. Stop it!!!!

I was surprised at her actions and the sudden change. I love looking at women and had done it a couple of times in her company when she was taking stuff and chopping my money but she never complained. So why the sudden change?

She even threatened not to talk to me again when she had in her hand goods worth thousands of Ghana cedis I bought for her. In fact, until I met her, I did not know that a dead human beings hair was that expensive. I had not sent money to mama in the village but I had rented her a house, furnished it, bought cloths for Yvonne Nelson, I mean I bought everything including the hair of people who were dead or alive in Brazil, India, Peru, Kejetia, Azerbaijan, etc. Anytime I think of some of the crazy things I did for Yvonne but hesitated to do very little for my family, I realize witchcraft is so so real.

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The MAIN Reason Why Most Ghanaians Are Sometimes HAPPY for No Reason

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A-Plus Corner

Sometime you are rich. Sometimes you are poor. Sometime you have no money but you feel rich. I remember when I used to play monopoly on a regular basis. Even though those were the dark days of my life, with no where to sleep, very little to eat and roamed for hours just to find a spot to place my monopoly game, my virtual buying of property and building of houses and hotels made me feel rich.

Most people feel rich at times. They feel some joy or get into a good mood for no particular reason. This feeling is very common with Ghanaians and I will tell you why.

I know most of you have heard of the word telepathy. It is scientifically defined as the purported transmission of information from one person to another without using any of our known sensory channels or physical interaction.

Yes, most Ghanaians are living a telepathic life as some greedy government officials have entered them into government payroll without their knowledge and are receiving money monthly in their name. Anytime you feel rich when you know very well that you may go to bed hungry remember that it is possible you have been paid and having a telepathic reaction.

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Does the Commissioner of Human Rights-Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey Use the TOILET?

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A-Plus Corner

The first day I met the commissioner of the Commission of Human Rights and Administrative Justice-Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey, my heart jumped like a cat over the wall.

The woman is “sooooo beautifully beautiful.” Her beauty reminds me of a Kumawood movie where Lil Win and Kweku Manu were public toilet executives (let’s polish their job a little and stop calling them latrine boys. After all watchman has changed to security and ashawo has been updated to female diplomatic escorts. They are all ashawo masa.).

In the movie, anytime a nice lady came to use the facility they asked her “enti woni?” Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey is so beautiful I keep asking myself “enti ɔni anaa?” (Does she use the toilet?)

No wonder her skin looks that beautiful. Reading her profile I can tell she has and is still enjoying all the good things and times life can provide. Her father was a prominent Ghanaian diplomat. She attended Aburi Girls. She attended University of Ghana. She attended London School of Economics. She attended Ghana Law School. She chaired the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, one of the most important UN Human Rights bodies. She worked with the Minerals Commission, Valco, Ecobank, you name it and she was there.

The only thing Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey has not achieved in life is a house of her own. According to an interview I heard someone that sounded like her grant to a radio station, she does not own a house. Madam I beg why? I have a friend who went for sakawa and was asked not to build a house or risk dying. Even he built a house and died. Please why don’t you have a house? What do you use your money? Or are you anti house? I have a feeling this woman is lying…

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