So, a very good friend of mine has found herself in a really tricky situation. She’s fallen madly in love with this guy she calls fine boy. They talk on phone everyday and he is always saying sweetest little things to her.
She really wants to accept his proposal of love and get into a relationship with him. However, there is one problem: this guy used to date her best friend a few months back but they broke up because things weren’t working out between them.
It’s been a few months, but she’s not sure that dating the guy is a good idea. She claims she has always had a crush on him, and now that she has a chance to actually date the guy, fear of what may happen to her friendship with her best friend is holding her back.
Dating your friend’s ex can be a really, really tricky situation. Your friend may believe that you were envious of his/her relationship and were secretly hoping it would fail so you could have your turn and, things could get nasty between you two. On the other hand, your friend may be okay with the situation and may even support you.
A couple of friends I asked about this issue said it depended on whether their friend broke up with the ex or it was the other way around. According to them, it was much easier for people to accept such a situation if they were the ones who broke up with their ex-es.
What do you think GC readers? Does it depend on who broke up with whom? Would you date your friend’s ex? How would you break it to your friend that you are dating his/her ex? Would you like it if your friend dated your ex
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The Big Debate: Should You Date Your Best Friend’s Ex?
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As ppl said it really depends on who did the breaking up and what situation that led to it but I feel it is awkward and very unnecessary of all the guys in this world must it be him,Sometimes it is not luv but just a crush and nothing more.U might even end up getting bored pretty soon and would want out
What would you have done in this situation if I said that:” people don’t “OWN” people. If it is someone’s ex who cares I’m sorry but if people feel a connection and wish to act on it they should have the right to go for it everyone is responsible for their life they should do what makes them happy and not worry about everyone else life is short you have to take chances if you feel there is something to take a chance on regardless of Ex’s”@Frog,
@Dr. Miyagi, Not every chance is worth taking.So you are trying to say you will date calibre’s ex ..if u get the chance.lol!!I always speak for ladies and I know it wont go well with us but for u guys, I dont know.
Ummm no, real friends dont date friends exes, it doesnt matter to me who broke up with whom, that means she secretly had a crush on her friends boo whiles they were dating, now thats wrong, this is why i dont bring my friends around my boo too much, men/boys they come n go, its really hard to find a good friend these days she shd think hard about this one, in my opinion its not worth your friendship breaking up
Well as the G.C. (Guys code) you don’t date your friend’s Ex. That’s a no-no regardless of the situatuion. Unless you want to lose your friend of let’s say 5 to 10 years when there are plenty of other girls out there. Its a simple concept I would say don’t risk it whatever the circumstances is, you can’t rely on people. To keep. A long story short its not a good idea at all cause. You will end up arguing with your best friend and to me ” Arguing isn’t communicating, it’s noise”
@Dr. Miyagi, good !
:-)@27calibre (O_0),
@Dr. Miyagi, thats why i call you DOCTOR! will come to you for all the “guys codes” 😉
🙂 hahahha lool thanks [email protected],
@Dr. Miyagi, u know these things are sort of some unwritten code??Come on can u actually say u wldn’t care about all those whispers behind u,the snarky and snide comments that u will be given but will always chose to ignore?The trust issues that may come into play between u and ur friends?Always having to defend this one action for most of the time which wld leave u angry & fustrated most of the time?
Is too much of a hustle don’t u think?I experienced this first hand in my neighbour hood and it didn’t end particularly well for both parties
@Frog,i like your feedback
It not acceptable at all in my opinion,i will feel GUILTY ,and secondly to me dating my friends ex will make me feel cheap in my friends eyes ,because come on my friend has use her before and i am also going to, no i wont fell comfortable ,i will not even date a girl who has been dated by some one i know regardless of my friend or not,i just prefer being ORIGINAL (:
@27calibre (O_0), Exactly what I always think and I thought it was just the female’s brain.I always thought it might look like am eating out of someone’s leftover;s bowl.I know we all end up with people’s ex but at least it feels good when u have no connection with that person(their ex)
@Adjoa Nbaaso), no it not only a femal brain lol ,maybe i am the only jelouse guy among men who have such opinions ,yes you are right by using the word LEFTOVERS .
@27calibre (O_0), But wait, I thought we ladies were emotional and u guys were strong enough to let things go?What is the best way ur friend can date ur ex?Would you want them to go like “Charlie calibre, I dey feel ur ex “..And would u still be friends with them still?
@Adjoa Nbaaso),I think it is all relative. Some women are more emotional than some men and the other way around, maybe because society expects women to be emotional in general but it does not mean that men are not as emotional as women. What is expressed to the public can be measured, but what is not expressed in public cannot be measured.
It also has a lot to do with how emotion is measured. If emotion is measured in tears, women seem far more emotional. If emotion is measured in how much a person cares for another, then the definition of “care” needs to be specified. But most men are actually sensitive and mushy, they just don’t show it a lot. I know, I’m a men and I never portray myself as being sensitive or emotional, I always hide it. But deep down, I’m a little girl hahahaha I’ll admit it! Yes, guys would love to be with a girl who shares everything with them, this builds trust. And to answer your question no matter what it is a friend can’t date his best friend ex it’s always going to be bros before ex girls if my best friend dates my ex girl no matter if he tells me about it it’s
A no no if my best friend dates her he will be breaking one of the Man Rules and that’s not a good look I mean ask your self this if you would be dating my best friend what would you gain out of it what makes you think he will treat you better than I did? Or would you go out with him just to make me jealous those are the question that you need to ask you self
@Dr. Miyagi, ahahhaa..I love the ittle girl part.How I wish men could admit their weakness.But, I understand what u talking about and I luv how how u broke emotions down..Enjoyed reading everybit of it.
@Adjoa Nbaaso), at the moment my friend says that i will slap him left and right lol am kidding
any way ,but am very sure my friend will not date my ex they will say i have her on bed before ,they will just show an ego ,just like the way i will show them my ego lol….remember the saying friends of the same feather flock together lol .
it wont happened my sister even though i know anything can happened ,but if it happened Italians say something called CIAO
@27calibre (O_0), hmm birds of the sams feather, I will say “have the same mindsets, I got u.
@Adjoa Nbaaso), (:
well,, its a NO NO 4 me, the friend might give u the go ahead but trust me, things will never be d same b/n u nd ur friend. Ex or no ex, go nd look 4 ur own.
When it comes to women, the idea of dating your best friend’s ex would ruin your friendship.Women are more emotional and always have assumptions for every thing.I.Men on the other hand, dont go into details when it comes to issues like this(i stand to be corrected thou)Ladies, DONT do that to ur friends, its so disrespectful, period!
It’s a big NO for me. Dating your friends ex will definitely mess up your friendship and your friend will think that you were interested in that guy or girl even when they were together.
@B.B, True, but BB, what if your friend has also move on and happily with some guy?And u are so much in love witht her ex?Would u still not follow ur heart since ur gf has moved on?
@Adjoa Nbaaso), No. I simply cant do it, love or no love.
I dated a guy 7yrs ago(high sch) no sex. He had a very close frnd i nu abt bt neva met him. I hv still not met him bt we chat a lot on fon. Wud be it against bros code if we dated?
Yes your both breaking the guys code yeah no matter if there was sex or no sex involve if the new boy was aware that you went out with his friend than dude is just de. Deceiving you and wants so of that meat ask your self this question why is he interested in you what can he offer that your ex couldn’t does his friend knows your both coMmunicating , could this be a trick to see if your jumping from one friend to another (those are games men play within the guys code as well) so yeah to me he is breaking it but it all depends what you and the new one talks about what you both want from each. Other etc but my question is why his friend while there are millions of fishes swimming out there? @sonnet,
I was 17. And it lasted for a yr. Its bn 7yr since. We r all adults now and live in diff towns.He knows we’re communicatn.wud de bro code be so rigid here?@ Dr miyagi
try
Everybody is somebody’s ex so what is the big deal if your friend could not find something in a man or woman and you have found it?
Does it mean if your friend ate some food and he or she did not like it, you should not eat too? She or He is your friend for Christ sake, not your Mother or Sister
@akosuaghana, you this girl di3 i know you like everything in this world ,i will be always be proud of you for saying the truth always the time…i like your style and @miyagi for your info i did not said i love her some turn of your CCTV
Hmmmm am not sure God said this is ur friends ex so dont date am… Noo.there are so many ways to meet ya future husby or the love of ya life…….. I met my husby to be at a bufday party.. this guy was so much in love with his ex that nothin could keep him away from her.. I already knew this gurl n we use to chat on fb n also wen we meet… lemme say she was kinda a friend. this gurl didn want my fiance again and even confessed that she has nothing to do with him but she wishes he finds a new gurl so that he stop disturbing her peace.. LOL…. and i asked her Are u sure??? cos i think i like that guy!! this gurl said, YES YES u can have him all by urself…… well we dated n i found out that this guy is soo amazing to be with n he is the Mr rite lol…. Now we intend to get married earlier nxt yr Summar,,,,,,,,, as soon as this gurl notice all is goin well thru me n my fiance she started with terrible attacks n accusations, insults, lies a whole lot… just becos de guy looks fresh n happier than before…….howeva its too late for her n she is not talkin to me nor the guy buh that her own business… that y we say som1 poison is another man meat…. So ladies don be sayin this 1 dea i dont like nor dont be takin some1s love for granted….
@RocklynLove, i dont know how some of you girls take this ,but dont you feel that your friend has use your man before? cos it kinda something else for me when i know the person personally lol
@27calibre (O_0), Calibre, ahahahahha, pls encourage the girl so She keeps her head up.Atleast the machine is still in good use.
@RocklynLove, At last someone shared her story..Interesting story..Its true ones meat is another man;s poison.Gud luck sweety, I pray it goes well with u and ur boo.I like how u asked for ur friend’s go ahead before taking a step.Hopefully someday u guys will be friends again..
Your case is very different,the girl actually gave you go ahead way before you started dating him.besides she wasn’t your Friend Friend as in close friend so you had nothing to worry about.But in the case of being around when they dated and sometmes intervening when they had fights? LAI LAI,I no go do.