To say for lack of knowledge my people perish, will perhaps be too harsh a line to begin with but I cannot help but try to share my thoughts on this particular Ghanaian issue that seems to be well accepted and unquestioned by almost all.
Let us start by cutting long talk and going straight to the main question, why do we get married several times for one marriage in Ghana?
Ok that sounds like the wrong question. Sigh, this is confusing. It should be: Why do we have several marriage ceremonies to seal one marriage?
You see, when you copy and still want to be original, you end up making mockery of yourself, your culture, and your rationality.
What is a Ghanaian marriage? What is the singular most important ceremony and why do we never stop at one ceremony in Ghana and most African countries? But the western countries we copy spend less that we do on marriage and have just one ceremony.
We have our own marriage system which is the traditional. But it’s never enough. We go on to sign in court and do a white wedding to top up. At the end of all that, don’t we feel we have gotten married two or three times which all signify the same thing? Because traditional marriage is our marriage and we spend money on it but turn around and belittle it by calling it an engagement and then heading to the alter or church for another marriage ceremony which will cost double of the traditional marriage ceremony.
Why do we call our traditional marriage system a mere engagement when in actuality it is indeed our original marriage system?
I humbly ask to know who taught us to ridicule our culture and it’s significance and how did we all come to believe and hold on to such?
The traditional marriage as practiced is a necessary rite in all tribes in Ghana and usually consists of several stages before completion. So isn’t it totally ridiculous to brand it as a mere engagement?
Most traditional marriages are elaborate, expensive and a big show of culture with a reception, favors, gifts, pastors and so much more. Why waste people’s time and money doing more of this?
As a matter of fact, the western countries have a white wedding and it ends there. The engagement occurs when the fine young man goes on his knees and says ‘my lady, will you marry me?” Full stop.
Why don’t we also choose one…black wedding, green wedding, purple or white? What exactly are we about?
Some ‘enlightened’ people actually brand the traditional ceremony as irrelevant and outmoded and a way of selling out the woman…an opinion I consider quiet a shame but I will leave that topic for another day.
Am I being rather hard on Ghana or am I just ignorant? Do you have an opinion similar to mine or different concerning this? Kindly share…
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Attention to all Ghanaians a traditional marriage is recognized as a legal marriage in the US…and the UK please do not allow some of these pastors in GH especially in Accra to tell you otherwise. There are too many God filled marriages being destroyed by these supposedly men and women of God. As an American born citizen there are often too many innocent lives being destroyed by these liars and some of the jealous family members too….do not I repeat do not allow the enemy or envied friends and family to discourage you from keeping your vows. Satan does not like unity especially if the couple is being bought together by God…if you have a traditional marriage it is legal…period in the States. Once the embassy places that stamp on the document it is bonafide legal…
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!!!!, THIS MARRIAGE ISSUE SICKENS ME ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE SOME WOMEN WHO DEMAND THEIR PROSPECTIVE HUSBANDS TO GO THROUGH À CHAIN OF MARRIAGES BEFORE THEY CAN BE LEGITIMATELY CALLED HUSBAND AND WIFE!!!
YOU SEE, THE PROBLEM ESPECIALLY IN GHANA IS “FOLLOW FOLLOW” BECAUSE HER FRIEND DID HERS THAT WAY, BY ALL MEANS AND AT ALL COSTS, SHE HAS TO ALSO DO THE SAME TO IMPRESS HER PEERS TO MAKE HER MARRIAGE THE TALK OF TOWN………..RIDICULOUS !!!! THE NUMBER OF RINGS YOU WEAR AS WELL AS ITS HEIGHT IS ALSO A “SWAG” IN GH, YOU WILL SEE ONE WOMAN WEARING CLOSE TO THREE RINGS ON HER RING FINGER, AND IT IS SO HIGH THAT IT CAN EVEN REACH THE SKIES…………….LOL WHEN YOU ASK THEM WHAT THOSE RINGS SIGNIFIES SHE WILL TELL YOU; THE FIRST RING IS HER PROMISE RING, THE SECOND HER ENGAGEMENT RING AND THE THIRD HER WEDDING RING!!! ALL ON ONE FINGER.? “ADEN WO YE CAPTAIN PLANET ANAA.”……….LOL WHAT EVEN IRKS ME MOST IS, MOST OF THESE MARRIAGES ARE FINANCED BY THE MEN ALONE!!! IN SOME INSTANCES, THE MEN START EVEN RIGHT FROM “KNOCKING” , ENGAGEMENT, COURT, AND FINALLY IN CHURCH! FOUR SOLID STAGES! ADZEN.?
SOME FAMILY GIVE LISTS AS TALL THAT, SOME MEN GET SCARED AWAY AND RATHER REMAIN IN À MERE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND R/SHIP SINCE IT DOESNT COST À DIME! WHY WONT MOST OF OUR WOMEN BE ROAMING FROM ONE PASTOR TO THE OTHER LOOKING FOR HUSBANDS.?, I THINK À WOMAN’S FAMILY SOULD ALWAYS PLAN À SIMPLE MARRIAGE FOR BOTH UPCOMING COUPLES SINCE IT IS THE WOMAN’S FAMILY THAT DRAFT MOST OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THIER DAUGHTER.THEY HAVE THE REST OF THIER LIVES TO LIVE FOREVER AND THE MONIES INVESTED IN THESE MARRIAGE “SHOWS” CAN BE RATHER SAVED FOR THE COUPLES TO START THIER LIVES WITH.
THAT IS NOT TO SAY, IF ONE HAS THE MEANS OF THROWING À LAVISH OR EXTRAVAGANT WEDDING SHOULDN’T , THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION. THANK YOU!
@KA NE WU, LMAO @ CAPTAI N PLANET…
I blame the women for this,weddings are all for them.The men sit back and go along with it.The white wedding is a way of showing off these days if u don’t do it,then it means u don’t have money so u have to borrow money to have it and after all the pomp and pagentry they end up with a mountain of debt.What a way to start ur married lyf.I mean wht do women get from donning two rings on the same finger if it is not for showing off?Traditional marriage is wht shows am a Ghanaian
wow just last week i was taking abt this w/my bestie. she was wondering if our traditional marriage was real wedding and y do we call it engagement? well, i told her i believe ” the real marriage” its da traditional one. most women do white weddings cos they belong a christian group. actually most churches stresses on white weddings with some not even recognizing it. the big question i couldn’t answer my frnd was Y DO WE CALL OUR TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES ENGAGEMENT? any one have an idea?
Ao my friend, ka na ka biom. We all have to be blamed for this problems but I think the churches are the worse culprits, especially the Charismatic and Pentecostal churches. Young guys are running away from marriages because of these things. The Church of Pentecost for instance never accept traditional marriage as such. Until a man takes his wife(I said his wife because he will have perform the traditional marriage already) he is suppose to live at a separate place from his wife until white wedding is done all in the name of asking for God’s blessings upon the marriage only in the Church as if God is not everywhere. Instead of our generation breaking away from these issues we are taking it to different levels, like organizing white bible ceremonies for our maidens etc. This will not happen to my children, definitely not. Train the child the way he or she should go.
One of de best articles for 2012 on dis page is dis n I love dats
@Eyered, Thanks dear.
hmmmmmm….this is an issue my fiance and i talked about intensively because of our up-coming marriage. Sincerely, after my father gave us the list, he asked “what type of marriage” we want to have? funny huh?? but he was right because of these stages of marriage ceremonies….from my heart i told my family that i want my man to bring his father (along with a drink) to come and properly ask for my hand in marriage then we would have a wedding but i would sign the marriage certificates at the church premises, no need going to court again. Personally i dont want “crowd” at my wedding because at the end of the day it will be only my husband & i who would be married so a few closest friends and our families would join us for the ceremony….i dont want to have what we Ghanaians call “engagement” because i dont see why i should have different marriage ceremonies for one marriage. If i would have a traditional marriage then there would be no white wedding and vise versa…..i want my wedding to be very simple and nice. (and of course less spending)…lol
@Eaglebabe, my daughter is doing a project on the Ghanaian wedding ceremony and no-where on the websites does it explain WHY a lsit is given to the grooms family and what each item represents. Can anyone help with this.
Awww, you guys here are just the best. I am glad you all agree with me. I thought I was going crazy over nothing. But can anyone who condones the practice tell us what exactly we achieve by getting married so many times. I had like to hear someone defend that stance no matter how ridiculous their arguments may sound.
@KANE WU…3 rings!!! Wow, that’s new to me. Will the finger not feel too heavy? Hahaha!.
And I do agree we are all to blame. Too much show off and competition among women.
And I feel bad for the men who end up paying for these 3 processes because they are all big ceremonies.
Slowly our eyes will open.
@GC Staff, Shweee, if you doubt me go tto these juwelleries in Accra and do your own research, these days, the juweliers make TWO-IN -ONE rings, one representing engagement, and the second for wedding. Have you noticed the ring some of our GH gospel singers wear? Some are as tall as SKY -SCRAPERS!……….Lol
@KA NE WU, lmao sky scrapers paa. i guess ghanaians r building theirs on their women
@`madam social, for Laughs only.
@KA NE WU, Juwelleries…lol! i have heard it before. so funny.made my evening.
If we respect our culture then it will stop at the traditional engagement/marriage (and not everyone goes to the extend of the so-called white wedding…) and the court aspect is VERY IMPROTANT to legalize the marriage which they could do before (which people do) or after on their own
Hmmm if you think it’s bad in Ghana, think of us in Abrokyire who have to go through the whole white wedding with diamond engagement ring to satisfy legalities and our churches, and simultaneously the whole knocking and traditional engagement/marriage to satisfy our families and tribal traditions. If one spends thousands and thousands before the wedding(s), what money is there to buy a house, save up for kids etc?
@Chantal K,I guess the couple have to forget about even feeding after the marriage. LoL
@GC Staff,*has
@GC Staff, tell me about it lol
I told my boyfriend that i want only the traditional marriage because it is also recognized as marriage and also it is expensive to do the white wedding in addition but he doesn’t agree with me. thanks for this article. I hope he reads it.
@Esi, nooooo whites wedding is never expensive if only you invite 20 to 30 people. With entire church congregation sounds so expensive but small ones can be cheaper.
@nana ama, can u invite only 20 to 30 people to your white wedding in Ghana? please!! Inviting one person is like telling 2 other people even if it is strictly by invitation.
@`madam social, there is no difference is “too known” and “ns3m hunuu” we made that name up to differentiate between the traditional and the white weddings.Ghanaians copy and copy blindly we have ours and the westeners have theirs but typical of Ghanaians we just have to merge it
@Frog, i figured its bcos the given at the traditional marriage is the engagement one hence the name.
Wat is even most annoying is tat of the so called WHITE n COURT weddings tat encourage a whole lot of Divorce as tat of our TRADITIONAL doesn’t. We copy too damn much n it ends us copying BLINDLY.
@Constance, 4 more lovely African Wedding Pictures
I like this part ” The engagement occurs when the fine young man goes on his knees and says ‘my lady, will you marry me?” Full stop.”
Well said chris, A friend and hubby did theirs in their pastors office just the two of them and wedding cost was very less and cute… Some invest all their hard earned money into the wedding… Even some ppl take out loans just to impress others about their wedding… In our 21st century i feel is best we do it simple invite few friends and family if you can so we can save towards the future rather than wasting all we have. Good one and hope ghanaians would all learn.
@nana ama,LoL…Thanks Nana Ama.
@nana ama, I know of a guy who took out a loan had this huge wedding bought a house went on honeymoon bought a deep freezer but no indoor plumbing????? Had a water tank in the yard but he bought a car but no indoor plumbing…no generator, had to ask me and my hubby to put in a electric fan….but had an ego the size of Bill Gates wallet once he saw me and my husband struggling now the table is turned and now he says my traditional marriage is not an actual marriage this is due to jealousy because I am in the Middle East with a huge apt and he is somewhere with bills to pay….oh and he has a dog???? But no indoor plumbing??? LOLOLOLOLOL
@Susan, He’s a loser would want mine very simple with about 30 people… People should know that at the end of the day is just the two of you staying together and not the crowd. They will come eat and dance but what happened to your future? Is best we cut our coat according to the size damn lol
@nana ama, hahahaha…..but the ego was huge and I am looking through my eyes like dude you went to all this trouble and we got to wash out of a bucket and still no indoor plumbing/?? Like seriously….you got a dog and a car and had to move because you wanted to compete with a family members Western wife…dude like seriously…a bucket where are the priorities???????
I really love this article. Hmmm ghananians we copy so blindly and come to think of the cost associated with these so called white weddings. I always prefer doing things privately and my own style. Just a few family and then marry the traditional way. Cos the couple have to save for the kids unborn and their future. A word to the wise………………
@Serwaa, u damn ryt swty
@Serwaa, Good, you can even do the white wedding with only family members and few friends no need tow waste money on weddings. My close friend is a wedding planner says we can have a wedding with a cost of 1000usd with only 30 ppl, but we damn africans here would want to go beyond that to a maximum of 20,000 usd how sad.
@ swerwaa! i definitely agree with you. i’m a very private person too. i believing its very important for a christian to bring their union to the alter (the church) however; it can be done very simple and elegant by both partners with few family members and friend being present at the church in front of the altar.
This is interesting i was having this discussion with my sisters the other day . I have four sisters thou we all want something different, when it comes to this issue we all seem to think alike. Just this year alone we have witness more weddings than ever still have few to go to lol, mind you we go to the traditional wedding/Engagement followed the big white wedding. So, from the way it seems we r basically getting married twice and spending money we dont need to . Alot have change from growing up right now just being engaged alone is not enough is not something people recognize us being married unless you have a white wedding attached. i remember so well growing up in Ghana the that traditional engagment itself alone was a wedding that is our culture which afterwards both r known us husband and wife even most of our mothers didn receive any wedding ring, but happily married as husband and wife . To me we’ve lost the touch of our culture n what things really mean because nothing can be best than our own cultural marriage and how we do things . Now to have a traditional engagement we dont recoqnize as a wedding . I friend of mine had a traditional wedding it was so nice and classy nothing can beat that, but we feel you have to have wedding with your vail long from accra to kumasi before we know ur marrige .
Oh recently i was talking to a guy friend of mine in Ghana he told me he might loose a girl he love so much because of the demand of him having a big white wedding. The girl is insisting she get one because 1. it has become a trend in the church and 2. all her friends had one, so she has to by all means. Now he’s worried about the tall engagement list plus the big white wedding and the girl has given him time to do all that . People who love each other reason because this is the beggining of everything if he spend it all on the wedding what more are you going to use to start life. Everything can be simple, yet nice n classy . So the blame mostly goes to us ladies, because what we decide is what the men goes with is about time we see our culture marriage as a real one adopt that i mean after that we can go to church for the pastor to bless it simple us that.
@maame, tell dude to kick homegirl out of the trotro and let her dream about fairytale weddings on the curb…no but seriously refer back to my statedment about homeboy buying an house and no indoor plumbing….traditional marriages are recognized from Ghana as weddings so please let us start naming these pastors who are telling these couples differently. I know I was traditionally married and a jerk of a pastor tried to break my marriage up simply because I am not from Ghana I am from America…. @chrisvincent I thnk you should take me up on that offer and I am going to name some pastors in Ghana who have been known to break up marriages simply for their own status….maybe an article should be written….I mean let us face it this goes on toooooo often…
@maame, very well said. growing up there was sometin called blessing which couples do after the traditional wedding in a church. that was just simple. they do it on an ordinary sunday w/ church members present and the pastor just pray over their marriage. that was it.
LOW IQ IS A DISEASE THAT I DON’T PRAY SHOULD AFFLICT ANYONE:
STATEMENT
1. A CHURCH MARRIAGE IS HELD IN TRIBUTE TO RELIGION SO THAT IN THE EYES OF GOD, YOU WOULD STAND CLEARED. STATEMENT2. A COURT MARRIAGE IS UNDERTAKEN FOR LEGAL REASONS! one would have thought that would be a no-brainer…apparently not! STATEMENT3. A TRADITIONAL WEDDING IS A TRIBUTE TO MAMA AFRICA [to our cultural heritage and legacy] : WHICH OF THE THREE MARRIAGES DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE DONE AWAY WITH? {while you’re pondering this, may I ask three questions that may guide you in answering. The three questions should be pondered together with statements 1,2,and 3 respectively–are you a christian?/are you a university graduate?/ are you indigenously to Africa?} WHAT A PARADOX THAT YOU STARTED YOUR ARTICLE WITH A QUOTE ON IGNORANCE: PERHAPS YOU SHOULD LOOK WITHIN!!!
@jacqueline, My lady, from your speech you sound intelligent. So I am surprised you had to resort to insulting my IQ and brand me ignorant before you could get your point across. There is a saying that people who have to insult others in order to look good are indeed low.
So you really believe all the people who have commented have no idea what these 3 marriages are for? You just came to justify why people should get married 3 times before their marriage is recognized? Seriously? I hope when you mentioned paying tribute to mama Africa, you by any chance looked in the mirror to find an African staring back? or did you find somebody else?
Perhaps you are the lady in Maame’s story?
But hey, you just put more light on why such blind copying continues to thrive..Have a blessed day wherever you may be.
@GC Staff,
I HOPE WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE WITHOUT GETTING UPSET- IN MY OPINION, THIS SHOULD AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BE A DISCUSSION OF THE HEAD AND NOT THE HEART.
YOU MUST FORGIVE ME IF YOU FELT INSULTED…I WAS RESPONDING TO YOUR ARTICLE – YOU KNOW, THE EXPRESSION ‘TO INSULT’ CAN BE QUITE SUBJECTIVE… IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION AT ALL! FURTHERMORE, ANY INTELLECTUAL KNOWS TO HAVE A THICK SKIN TO CRITICISM WHEN THEY PUT OUT AN ARTICLE WHICH MAY COME UNDER FIRE FROM COMMENTATORS FOR BEING POORLY WRITTEN!
IF I MAY NOW RESPOND TO YOUR COMMENTS: 1. YOU STATED THAT I BRANDED YOU IGNORANT.IN YOUR OPENING LINE: ”To say for lack of knowledge my people perish, will perhaps be too harsh a line to begin”, YOU STATED THAT IT WOULD BE TOO HARSH AN OPENING LINE, AND YET YOU OPENED WITH IT ANYWAY! SURELY, IF YOU CAN GIVE IT TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, THEN IT IS ONLY FAIR THAT YOU SHOULD ALSO BE ABLE TO TAKE IT WHEN NECESSARY, AS IT WAS IN THIS CASE. A PARADOXICAL TRIBUTE TO YOUR ARTICLE* 2. YOU ASKED THE PUBLIC: ”Why do we have several marriage ceremonies to seal one marriage?” TO WHICH I ANSWERED THAT THERE ARE 3 MARRIAGES TO SEAL A UNION, TO SATISFY 3 CONCEPTS OF MARRIAGE – RELIGIOUS, LEGAL AND CULTURAL CONCEPTS! I THINK IF YOU WRITE AN ARTICLE THAT ASKS SIMPLE QUESTIONS, THEN YOU OUGHT TO BE PREPARED FOR SIMPLE ANSWERS! INCIDENTALLY, I DON’T THINK IT IS A CASE OF CONFUSION, NOR ABOUT A LOVE FOR WASTE OF MONEY! IN YOUR COMMENT ABOVE YOU ASKED ME: ”So you really believe all the people who have commented have no idea what these 3 marriages are for?” I FIND THIS TO BE A BIT STRANGE AND DISTURBING SINCE THE THEME OF YOUR ARTICLE IS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR QUESTION ”Why do we have several marriage ceremonies to seal one marriage”… INDEED THE TITLE OF YOUR ARTICLE READS ”LIFESTYLE: The Multiple Ghanaian Marriage System, Are We Confused Or Just Love To Waste Money?”
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO IT AND RE-READ IT?… IF YOU FELT THAT PEOPLE APPRECIATED THE REASON WHY THERE ARE ‘SEVERAL MARRIAGE CEREMONIES TO SEAL ONE MARRIAGE’ THEN WHY DID YOU BOTHER TO ASK THE QUESTION !?! PERHAPS THAT IN ITSELF MAY REINFORCE MY LOW IQ STATEMENT, WHOSE ORIGIN LIES IN YOUR POORLY FRAMED RESEARCH QUESTION… how one can ask whether serious religious, legal and cultural obligations are an art in ‘confusion’ or ‘a waste of money’, is the stuff of low IQ reasoning in my opinion – as a statement of fact – and not at all intended as an insult! JUST AS YOU SAID TO ME IN YOUR ABOVE COMMENT: ”There is a saying that people who have to insult others in order to look good are indeed low”, ALTHOUGH I THINK THAT WHAT ONE CONSIDERS AN INSULT MAY SOMETIMES DEPEND ON THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE; SURELY, THAT IS YOUR OPINION, AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO IT!
3. ON THE SUBJECT OF MAMA AFRICA, I POINTED OUT THAT THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE IS A TRIBUTE TO OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE AND LEGACY.YOU STATED THAT: “I hope when you mentioned paying tribute to mama Africa, you by any chance looked in the mirror to find an African staring back? or did you find somebody else?” I WILL HAVE TO SUGGEST VERY BLUNTLY THAT YOU TOOK A REFLEXIVE TURN RIGHT THERE… THAT COMMENT DEFINITELY CAME FROM SOMEWHERE WITHIN…YOU PROCESSED THAT INFORMATION IN YOUR OWN WAY, FOR WHICH YOU AND YOU ALONE WILL HAVE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR. AS FOR ME, I WILL LEAVE YOU TO YOURSELF ON THIS FRONT BY SAYING THAT I DONT HAVE TO LOOK IN A MIRROR TO KNOW WHO I AM…FROM THE TIP OF THE HAIR ON MY HEAD TO THE SOLE OF MY FEET, I AM A 100% FULL BLOODED INDIGENOUS AFRICAN – FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THE AFRICAN IS THE ORIGINAL SPECIE {remember, scientific, religious, historical and archeological accounts are all in agreement that it all stated in Africa} AND AS SUCH, I AM VERY PROUD OF MY HERITAGE. VERY PROUD INDEED – BUT THEN YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT, AND THAT IS WHY I SAID THAT YOUR ‘look in the mirror’ STATEMENT MAY BE FIGURATIVELY, A DREADFUL TRIBUTE TO YOU, BY YOU – IF YOU KNEW THE FULL EXTENT OF YOUR HISTORY, SUCH A STATEMENT WOULD NOT HAVE ARISEN FROM WITHIN!
IF I MAY GIVE YOU A WORLD HISTORY LESSON, THERE IS NO CIVILIZATION IN THE WORLD THAT DID NOT BORROW FROM THE MODEL THAT CAME BEFORE IT: LIFE IS A COMPARATIVE UNDERTAKING. CHINA BORROWED ITS BUSINESS MODEL FROM THE US, WHICH BORROWED ITS LIFESTYLE MODEL FROM EUROPE. MAJORITY OF THE ANCIENT BRITISH ROADS WERE BUILT BY THE ROMANS{the Romans stated that when they came to Britain, the few people they met were naked…thus speaking to how primitive the natives were at the time. Edgware road, for instance, is a Roman raod}. AGAIN, ANCIENT ROME TOOK A LEAF FROM ANCIENT GREECE{known to lovers of knowledge as the cradle of civilization and the home of philosophy and mathematics}. And so on… CAN WE THUS SAY THAT CHINA IS COPYING THE US? OR THAT ROME COPIED GREECE? IF YOU KEEP AN OPEN MIND, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE WORLD DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! THEREFORE COMING HOME TO AFRICA, IN MY OPINION, THE RELIGIOUS AND LEGAL ASPECTS OF MARRIAGE ARE BEING RECOGNIZED NOT FOR THE SAKE OF CONFUSION OR WASTE OF MONEY, BUT BECAUSE THERE ARE INSTITUTIONS WE, AS WELL AS THE REST OF THE WORLD OPERATE! UNLESS THERE IS AN ABOLOTION OF RELIGION AND LAW, THESE ARE RESPONSIBILITIES WHICH HAVE TO BE FULFILLED. I AM QUITE SURE THE INTELLECTUALS WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM DIGESTING THIS. ‘BLIND COPYING’ IS A SIMPLISTIC EXPRESSION FOR SUCH A COMPLEX TOPIC.
OH, I FORGOT TO ADD, YOU SUGGESTED THAT:”the western countries we ‘COPY’ spend less that we do on marriage and have just one ceremony.” YOU THEN ADDED: ”
As a matter of fact, the western countries have a white wedding and it ends there…Full stop.
Why don’t we ‘ALSO’ choose one…” IN SO STATING, ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE ‘COPY’ THE WESTERN COUNTRIES?
BLIND COPYING?… MAYBE?…BUT YOU CRITIQUED COPYING IN THIS CONTEXT AS ‘making a mockery of oneself !? SO WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SAYING..OR TRYING TO SAY? YOU BLOW HOT AND COLD
IN SUCH A WAY THAT ONE IS DISCOURAGED TO ENGAGE WITH YOU ON THE ASPECT OF YOUR WRITE-UP IN WHICH I AM IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU, AND THAT IS ON THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE HAVING AN INFERIOR STATUS TO THE TWO OTHER MARRIAGES. HOWEVER, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS NOT THE CASE IN MANY OTHER AFRICAN COUNTRIES, WHERE THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE IS REGARDED AS A FULL-FLEDGED MARRIAGE, AND NOT A MERE ENGAGEMENT. ON A PARTING NOTE, I SUGGEST THAT IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO ENGAGE IN A DEBATE IN FUTURE, THEN YOU SHOULD NOT WRITE ON THE WORLD-WIDE WEB! I MEAN, THAT’S A NO-BRAINER!! YOU SHOULD ALSO NOT ASK AS YOU DID IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH OF YOUR WRITE-UP: “Am I being rather hard on Ghana or am I just ignorant? Do you have an opinion similar to mine or different concerning this? Kindly share” !!!
BLESS!
@jacqueline, am a staunch christian, a Methodist for that matter and hey, even if you have a traditional marriage, our pastors or Reverends can come there bless it for you and also the court certificates can be signed there because Methodist church (and other churches) are recognized by the court to give newly wed couples the right to sign their marriage certificates at the premises….this process is your three different types of marriage ceremonies joined together simply and satisfies all the reasons you gave. My up-coming marriage ceremony, i have decided to have a simple white wedding, i wont have a traditional wedding before that, i would sign the court papers at the church and after that invite 30 family & closest friends for a dinner (strictly by invitation) and my wedding will be very simple my dear…contact me and let me tell you how cheap it has cost but yet very classy it would be. Can u plz be polite a bit in your contribution??? I guess you can….
@Eaglebabe, THERE YOU GO! THE METHODIST CHURCH HAS UPPED THE ANTE AND MADE IT EASIER TO SATISFY THE THREE CONCEPTS OF MARRIAGE WHICH SOME OF US AFRICANS HAVE. IT IS NOT BY ACCIDENT THAT THE METHODIST CHURCH RECOGNISED THESE THREE INSTITUTIONS, AND MERGED THEM INTO ONE CEREMONY! – BUT NEVERTHELESS, OBSERVING ALL THREE ALL THE SAME. AS TO YOUR WEDDING, I, TOO, ALSO LIKE SIMPLE CELEBRATIONS WITH FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS, ALTHOUGH FOR ME, THE OBSERVATION OF THE THREE INSTITUTIONS ARE KEY{jointly, or severally} – BUT THAT’S JUST ME. I GUESS WE ALL MAKE OUR DECISIONS DEEM FIT. I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY. REMAIN BLESSED.
Hmmmmm. this issue! i wonder what exactly we want by those lengthy marriages. The question is, is that how God intended it to be? I read my bible and can’t find the basis for all this we are tying ourselves with. I think we have over copied the white man without filtering to see what is appropriate for us. What is sad, is that our pastors present the white wedding as though its mandatory from God. In fact just before reading this article, I have been spending precious time searching all kinds of materials to find out if indeed God has mandated wedding as the church wants us to believe, but can still not find anything in that direction. well to me our customary marriage is enough to be called marriage by all standards. But as you started with, the Good Book says: for lack of knowledge my people are destroyed; And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set ye free.