THE BIG QUESTION: Would You Tell Your Partner That You Cheated?


A magazine article on cheating in relationships reminded me of a conversation with a friend as she shared her experiences on the matter.

She had been dating her boyfriend for four months when one day he called her on phone and told her that he had kissed another woman, not once or twice but on three different occasions. She just couldn’t get over it and had to end the relationship with the guy. According to her, she would have preferred to be kept in the dark because ignorance is bliss.

This got me wondering whether I would want to be told that I had been cheated on or whether I would tell my partner that I cheated on him.  Coming forward may have positive or negative outcomes.

The positive being that after the shock and pain, the fact that the guilty party came clean may strengthen the relationship and the negative being that the relationship may come to a bitter end.

I personally would want to be told when I’m being cheated on and I would definitely come clean if I’m guilty of the “crime.” I know of a few couples whose relationships were better off after one partner cheated because it served as a wakeup call to the other partners. This helped them see what wasn’t working, and gave them a means to make their bond even stronger and better than it was prior to the infidelity.

So what about you? Would you tell your partner that you cheated on him/her? Or, if your partner cheated on you, would you want them to tell you? And if they told you they had cheated, what would you do?

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