I am back, still living in Ghana with no prospects of a better tomorrow. The Government can’t be bothered and the strongest opposition party has ended up fighting themselves—giving the Government of Dead Goats more time to sketch the next grand electoral robbery.
In such a country, you cannot really own much, except your body—to give and play with it on your terms. That is why I find it deeply worrying when others allow external conceptions and controls to take charge of the only autonomy they hold.
My headline question is as old as the various ontological questions but it seems the answers women give and what actually happen are never the same—at least with the exception of me.
I got into a loud conversation with my three female friends mid this week (Yes, we always discuss men and sex, do you expect us to kill ourselves with the Dumsor talk?) and the troubling question is my headline for this article. Interestingly and perhaps to score a decency point, all my friends said they would make a man wait for at least 3 months before opening their African pot for him.
Being my friends, I know they were each lying because Serwaa’s recent was the same night she met the guy—in the west, this would be termed a one night stand. She wanted a relationship but this guy was a key getaway driver so after dropping her at her climax destination, he never answered her calls and Whatsapp messages.
Considering Serwaa’s pitiful experience and her sense of having been violated as a woman, I do understand her eager to be exceptionally cautious the next time she meets a man. But that’s just what she says, would that really happen?
The Mary, mother of Jesus Christ in the middle of the triangle is always Tiwaa: she claims she does not want to have sex with a man before marriage—and her only sex was with her first boyfriend. Since then, she has had about 4 men who have passed through her life but they did not make it to the altar so the guess is, they never had her pot to eat from it.
However, this is the same Tiwaa who has an orgasm time table, aided by fingers and toys, she screams out 3 times a week all by herself—and ingeniously, she has various scientific articles to prove that masturbation is deeply healthy. She is the known liar in the group, so her words hardly get taken serious and yet, she is the one who parades herself as the staunch Christian. She is always on ablaze with MOGPA.